Here's a little something to help you . . .

scrapbook in the new year: A couple freebies from the My Memories shop!

Click here for freebie 1

Click here for freebie 2

Hurry, because they're only free until January 12, 2014.

By the way . . .

I think I forgot to mention the main kit I used to scrap Noelle's adventures this year. The kit is called Elves on Shelves, created by one of my favorite designers, A-Manda Creation. I also used the Extra Alphas. If you'd like to know what kit any of the other embellishments came from, leave me a comment. I'll have to do a little research to find it!

Christmas has passed.

That's a sure sign the year is almost over. It also means it was time for Noelle to head back to the North Pole. I guess even a spy elf's got a job to do at the Pole. I guess she stuck around as long as she could. Here are the last of her adventures for this year.

We had a great Christmas Eve and Christmas day, spending both of them with family.

I've been thinking a lot lately about everything I haven't been doing as a Christian. We've lived here almost three years and haven't found a new church yet. Honestly, we haven't really looked yet. I've slept in on Sundays, forgotten to set the alarm, or just flat out didn't plan to go because of homework or going to bed too late on Saturdays. I pray, but we haven't been reading the Bible daily. Would I have the strength to stand up to Satan if he were attacking me heavily? I hope so, but I haven't done much lately to ensure it. I've added this to my prayers. I ask God to strengthen me and draw me closer to him. I pray for those that are in heavy spiritual warfare, but hope it never really happens to me.

I don't do resolutions for the new year; I set goals. I don't always accomplish them, but goals are more meaningful to me than resolutions. One of my goals for 2014 is to be a Christian God can be proud of. I want to make sure I'm in His will, not in His way. I know that things will not be perfect, but certain aspects of my life will run more smoothly if I do what I know He wants. He's pretty clear about some things in the Bible, but I don't make sure to do all those things. How can He give me more if I don't utilize what He's already given me?

Merry Christmas!!!

Since the cats woke me up and I haven't gone back to sleep yet, I thought this would be a good time to catch you up on Noelle's adventures. I could swear I'd posted pictures at least one more time, but I don't see it, so I guess I didn't. Anyway, here are the rest:

I've really had fun with Noelle this year. I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already. I have one more plan that has to take place tonight. I have a feeling that Noelle has a bit of a rebellious streak, so you never know when or where she'll show up. I saw the Elf on the Shelf Birthday Tradition book at Target. I guess she has an excuse to make an appearance or two throughout the year!

Whew! Glad that's over.

After being bogged down with a research proposal, a research paper, and a poster presentation at the end of the semester, I am so glad this semester is over. On the plus side, I got 95 out of 100 points on the research proposal, with a note that it was an interesting topic. I got 200 out of 200 points on my research paper (I can't remember what Dr. R's note said at the moment, but it was complimentary) and 25 out of 25 points on the poster presentation. I haven't averaged it out, but I'm pretty sure I have a B in Human Growth and Development and it looks like I have an A in the educational research class. I'm happy, happy, happy.

Tomorrow should be interesting. I'm attending a preparation class for the PPR exam from 1 pm to 7 pm. The reminder email today said to bring a few things: pencils, scratch paper, snacks and drinks, and reading material in case you finish the practice test early. I have it all; I just need to remember the snacks and drinks.

Noelle, my elf on the shelf, has been a busy girl. I'm making a scrapbook of her antics, primarily using the Elves on Shelves kit by A-Manda Creation.

Since my life has calmed down a little, I'll try to post more regularly.

I'm still here!

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, even though some people probably think I have. It's the end of the semester, so everything is coming due.

My research paper for Human Growth and Development is due Tuesday. If you're counting, it's now about 11:00 Friday night. I've barely started on the actual paper, still trying to read the research I've collected. For the most part, it's kind of interesting. My topic is the causes of downward aging of menarche in America. If, like most people, you aren't familiar with the word "menarche", it just means a girl's first menstrual period. Apparently, a hundred years ago, the average age was around 16 years. Now it's around 11 or 12 years. We have poster presentations, in which we present a summary of our research papers, due on December 3. I'll try to take pictures of my poster and post them.

My research proposal for my educational research class is due December 2. I found out last week that the articles have to be from 2005 or later. The one article I found that is most on point with my topic is from 2001, I think. Anyway, it is definitely before 2005. I asked Dr. L about it; she said I could use it, but I need more recent research to back it up. I may just have to adjust my topic, which she told us may be necessary. I can't concentrate on this paper, though, until I finish the research paper that's due first.

I'm ready for this semester to be over. Mainly because I want these papers to be over. I got smart for next semester; I only registered for two classes. The funny thing is that both of them are web classes. I'll only have to go to the university for class meetings a total of four times the whole semester. That just means I'll have more study time at Starbucks!

Help, please!

One of the requirements of my educational research class is a class research project. If you're reading this, please click the link and take our survey. We're trying to get as many completed surveys as possible; the more data, the more accurate the results. Please pass it along!

God's got this and He is in control.

Like I mentioned before, Paul has been sick since Halloween. The past couple days, he's been feeling better. We were even able to go to a restaurant Friday night to celebrate my sister Nancy's birthday on Saturday. He felt pretty good yesterday. This morning, he was nauseous and sick to his stomach and complained of being cold. (If you know Paul, you know that he's probably cold about as often as he's sick. He even wears flip flops out when it's cold.) Why did I tell you all that? To get to my point. But, before I get there, I need to rewind a little more.

Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and go to Starbucks to work on my chapter review for Human Growth and Development. I got my test corrections for the educational research class done, but I only wrote maybe another page on the chapter review. I just couldn't seem to focus on it. Anyway, since Paul woke up sick again, I decided to stay home today and just work on my homework here. Not going so well. I ate lunch, checked Facebook, downloaded some more of my digi scrapping supplies (I'm redoing the entire way I organize my kits. Long story, which would probably be even more boring than this one.). I was only going to do that while I ate lunch, but I decided to check my university email before I got started. Then, for some reason, I decided to check Pinterest. Two hours later, I realized I needed to start the chapter review. I tried to start it in the bedroom, but the overhead light just glared on the pages of the textbook. Polly and Court were running around and Paul kept pulling the blanket I was under. None of that was helping me focus. I decided to go to the living room. I packed up the laptop, my book, my phone, drinks, and snacks. Now, here I sit in the living room, still not able to focus on this chapter review, which is due Tuesday night. I'm worried about Paul; he was doing so much better, now he seems to be getting worse again. I absolutely cannot miss class again this week to take him back to the doctor. I'm not even sure if I'm doing the darned review the right way; Dr. R really didn't give us much instruction on what he wanted.

I had a little blow up last night. There are lots of things around the house that Paul has been saying he would take care of for the last year, since he was laid off his job. None of them have been done and it's only getting worse. To him, this stuff isn't a big deal. To me, it just adds chaos that I don't need. After I came home last night, we had already discussed watching Parkland and Grown Ups 2. One little thing happened as I was putting the Parkland disc in the blu-ray player and off I went. I even threatened to unregister (is that even a word?) for my Spring classes and quit my job so maybe I would have the time and energy to do the stuff myself. I don't really know why I said that. I'm not going to quit school. If I don't get my degree, I'm jumping right off God's path again. I know I won't quit my job; I like having a place to live and all the other things my pay allows us to afford. I calmed back down, almost as quickly as I had blown up. Then I had to apologize. I wonder if my blow up had anything to do with Paul feeling worse again today. I hadn't even thought of that until now.

As little as I am accomplishing today, I would usually go to Starbucks. Or, at the very least, go to the university. I just don't feel like getting ready to go out in public. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. I don't feel like showering and washing my hair. I don't feel like pulling out clothes and getting dressed. I don't feel like driving across town. All I really feel like doing is laying down, watching TV, and doing something that doesn't take much mental or physical effort. I guess this chapter review that I seem to be avoiding doesn't take much physical effort. Not much more than typing this blog post, clicking around Facebook, or downloading and organizing digital scrapbooking kits. The main problem with doing the review today seems to be my lack of mental energy. As I sit here typing this post in the living room, which shares a wall with our bedroom, I can faintly hear the TV. I'm the only one in here; the furbabies are in the bedroom with Paul. It's almost peaceful. I haven't had many peaceful times lately. It seems that my mind is always busy--reading a chapter or some research article, working on an assignment, thinking about what needs to be done, or thinking about work. My mind always seems to be going. And when I'm scattered like this, I forget to take my meds, which only makes the anxiety and depression and lack of energy worse. It's times like these when I think things like "No wonder God hasn't given us a child. When would I have time for him or her? How would I be able to take care of a child when I can barely get up early enough in the morning to get to work on time?" I know this is all temporary. I just need to pray more and have more faith and trust in God. He's already got all this figured out. I don't need to stress about my missing Test #1 in my research class. I don't need to worry about Paul like I have been. I don't need to worry about my own health like I do. God's got this and He is in control.

Ah! Spring! And Meet Noelle

My research has been going okay. I'll probably end up changing my question for my Research Proposal a little bit, but I think I have almost all the articles I need. (I need to go to the library at Texarkana College for the last two articles.) My research paper for Human Growth and Development is on hold until I finish my Chapter Review, which is due next Tuesday. God's got this, so I know I'll do fine.

Registration for the Spring semester started today for Grad students and Seniors at A&M - Texarkana. After talking with a nice gentleman in Financial Aid, I decided to register for two classes instead of three. It won't hurt my future financial aid and I'll be awarded aid based on the number of hours for which I register. I was looking at three classes, two education classes that my adviser had suggested, as well as a reading class she had suggested for next summer. The first seven weeks of this semester were pretty hectic. I am thankful that the tech class lasted only seven weeks. I'm hoping next semester will be a little less hectic. It will definitely be less hectic than if I had decided to take three classes.

While I was at Target last night, I found an Elf on the Shelf. There were only two left, both girls. Meet Noelle.

I have all kinds of mischievous and cute plans for her this holiday season! I'll be sure to post some of her adventures. 

One last thing. Paul almost never gets sick. He's been sick since Thursday. His fever keeps going up and down. He has a constant headache, apparent sinus problems, and his appetite is pretty much non-existent. Not that I want to be sick, but I almost wish it were me that's sick. At least I have medical insurance. I was able to add him to my vision and dental insurance, but medical was almost $300 out of each paycheck. We can't afford that big a hit twice a month. Any prayers for him would be greatly appreciated. 

Electronic databases are not my friends today.

Before we came home today, Paul and I went to Best Buy for a new black ink cartridge. I think this is the only time we've ever gone in, gotten what we wanted, paid for it, and left. We usually look around the store for a while. (I guess we were both ready to go home and eat.) Anyway, I finished printing the articles for my HG&D research paper (I'm hoping I have enough resources now) and started searching for articles for my research proposal in my research class.

Even using "transition", the search term Dr. L suggested, I am still not really finding anything. Instead of printing out all these articles that are closely related but not really what I'm looking for, I realized I could print just the citation and abstract. My next step is to email the research librarian and see if she can help me out. I'm really starting to wonder if nobody has done any research on whether transitioning from small elementary schools to large junior high/middle schools has an effect on student behavior. Maybe I'm totally off-base with my question. Maybe there are just too many variables, with the change in school and puberty, with all the hormones, craziness, and confusion it seems to bring. Maybe I should just change to a topic that is simpler to research. But I'm really interested in this topic right now. I'll talk to the reference librarian before I make a decision.

Two words for the week . . .

Test and research. Other than work, that's what my week has been all about. Monday night was the test over the methodology presentations in my research class, followed Tuesday night by the usual chapter test in Human Growth and Development. Wednesday morning was my makeup test for last week's chapter test in HG&D. Since all that's over, I've been working on research.

Last night, I was looking up articles for my research proposal in the research class. I found some articles that I think may work, but I was having a lot of trouble finding the right search criteria for my topic. My question is "How does moving from a small elementary school to a large middle school effect student behavior?" I found lots of info on small schools vs. big schools and whether middle school/junior high should even exist. Today, I finally messaged Dr. L for suggestions. I don't know why I never thought last night to use the term "transitioning", but I'll check it tomorrow.

Tonight it was time for some research on my topic for my HG&D research paper, causes of the downward aging of menarche (a girl's first period) in America. I was able to print eight articles before my black ink cartridge went out. I'm on hold until tomorrow. I guess that's a good thing. I just realized it's a little after midnight. I have to be at work at 8:30 am. At least it's finally Friday.

Detour!

Here's a little detour from my education.

I want an Elf on a Shelf. Not one of the creepy-looking ones with the big head and small body, but the cute, poseable (did I spell that right?), mischievous-looking ones. I waited too late last year to decide that I wanted one. And I probably never would have decided that if it weren't for Pinterest. I kept seeing all these cool ideas of things to do with the little suckers. I even started coming up with my own ideas. Now I'm determined. As soon as I see that Target has them out, I'm getting one!

Oh! Consider yourself warned. I'll probably be posting some pictures of my little elf on here in the near future.

One down, two to go!

The final for my web class was due Monday night. I was happy to turn it in with almost an hour left. I was even happier yesterday when I realized that I have an A for the class. {Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance!} Now, if I could only do so well in my other two classes. I felt sick all day Monday and had a migraine Tuesday and Wednesday. I even missed my Human Growth & Development class Tuesday night. I emailed Dr. R to see if I can take the test I missed after Tuesday's test. I guess I'll see how that goes. When Dr. L posted our grades for Tests 2 and 3, I asked if she had seen my Test 1. Of course, she hadn't. She said she would check at the Testing Center. I hope they find it; I can't stand to lose 100 points. Otherwise, I seem to be doing pretty well. I think I have a strong B in HG&D. I'm not too sure about the research class yet.

On a much more positive note, my migraine appears to be gone and is now just an annoying headache. I'm hoping it's gone soon.

It just strikes me that I seem to be doubting. God's already got this semester taken care of. Why should I doubt? If I do my part, why wouldn't God take care of me? Thanks for the eye opener, God!

As the deadline looms . . .

I have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. Today is Thursday. The last weekly assignments for my tech class are due by 11:30 Sunday evening and the final project is due Monday evening. I think I'll have a busy weekend. I'm debating whether I should go to the university - or Starbucks - Saturday and Sunday. I really wish I could take tomorrow off from work, but, alas, I didn't plan ahead. I'm considering checking the calendars for my other two classes and requesting some time off toward the end of the semester. I haven't really had a chance to start the research on any of my research projects. I've gathered some info, but I haven't had a chance to really read any of it yet. That's where God comes in. My mom always told me "Study like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God."

As I have said more than once on this blog, God is in control. If it weren't for His guidance, I wouldn't be in grad school right now. Once I felt like this was what He wanted me to do, I asked Him over and over again to make it happen if I was on the right path and stop me if I was wrong. Without God's help, I would have never made it through Summer II with a B average. (I really should've had an A in one class, but I have to let that go. Let's just say 25 points can make a difference in a letter grade.) God has led me this far, I know He has a plan for me and will put me where He wants me in his timing. I saw a picture on Facebook tonight that inspired this post:

This is so true. I have been in more places and situations that I didn't understand than I can even remember. Every time, He has put me where I needed to be. I think I'm in one of those places now. All I can do is trust God and follow His lead.

She gone.

Well, not exactly. But I'm done with my tech class for this week. And I finally got messages from the last three people in the group and got them added to the blog. All's well that ends well. (Isn't that Shakespeare? I can't remember.)

Now, if I could just get into reading these blasted four chapters for my research class. We have a test over them tomorrow night and I'm still reading the first chapter. I just can't seem to concentrate on them. That's kinda been my problem this week. I can't seem to concentrate on reading the stuff I'm supposed to read. Almost anything else has had a better chance this week. Does this mean I'm hitting the wall already? I have way too much to do to hit the wall anytime soon.

Father, please help me to concentrate. You have led me this far. I know You won't let me fail.

The bookmark I chose for my research class textbook is rather fitting:
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
God has led me to this point. I am here for a reason. His reason. He has great things in store for me. I just have to trust and follow Him. By "great things" I do not mean monetary wealth. I simply mean that I know God plans to work through me. It is only by His grace and love that I am who I am. He has allowed me to make every mistake I have made for a reason. It is completely within God's power to take me out of the situations I have created and place me exactly where He wants me to be. But that isn't how He chooses to work in my life. He allows me to make mistakes and learn from them. Or not learn from them and repeat them. Instead of creating robots that worship Him at will, God created humans with the ability to make our own decisions and love and worship Him when we are ready. Often, when we have reached the end of our ropes and learned that our way isn't working. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be me and being there to pick up my broken pieces and put them back together to serve Your purposes.

I do not have to be in control.

But I really wish I were in control right now. There are five people in my group in the web class. One of our assignments this week involves developing a group blog on which each group member is to write at least five blog posts. I didn't want to possibly have to wait until the weekend to do my stuff, so I went ahead and created the blog Tuesday. Then I was just waiting for everyone else to post their email addresses so I could add them as administrators. As I type, it's a little after 9 pm on Saturday. All our assignments are due to 11:30 pm Sunday. Only one of my group mates has sent me her email address and posted on our blog. I keep checking the discussion board, the group discussion board, and the messages to see if anyone has posted their email address for me to add them. It's getting pretty frustrating. That's why I wish I could be in control. I wish I could just somehow make them do their part so I can do my part, which will allow them to do the rest of their part. Sounds like my codependency is showing. If they wait until late tomorrow, that's their fault. Mr./Dr. G can look at the postings on the discussion boards to see when they finally posted their email addresses. I don't know what everyone else's schedules are like. Maybe they haven't even looked at the assignments for this week yet. That's their bad planning, not mine. I just keep reminding myself of the saying:  Failure to plan on your part does not create an emergency on my part. I'll check Blackboard again before I go to bed. Probably more than once. And I'm sure I'll check it multiple times tomorrow. It is not a bad reflection on me if others in my group fail to do their part. Not my emergency.

It's about dang time!

So, tonight in Human Growth & Development, as usual, we got last week's tests back. I finally made an A!!! Until tonight, all I've seen was B. Here's the real shocker:  I didn't even have time to finish reading last week's chapter. I guess I already knew more about the prenatal period than I thought. I'm hoping for an A on tonight's test; I read the chapter, participated more in the discussion, and actually felt pretty confident during the test. I guess I'll see how I did next week. And Dr. R has finally learned my name. I'm not sure if that's good or not.

And here's an update on my tech class:  Instead of waiting for someone else to start our group blog, I just went ahead and started it. Now I'm just waiting for everyone else to post their email addresses so I can add them as administrators. We're each required to write five posts. I wrote my first one before I left work. And when I checked a little bit ago, no one has posted an email address yet.

All in all, today has been a good day. Of course, I haven't done what I intended since I got home from class. Instead, Paul and I have caught up on the first two episodes of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Sunday's episode of The Simpsons. I guess I'll have to kick my butt into gear the rest of the week.

I think I have an answer . . .

I applied for every social studies or history position that I saw listed for grades 4-8 (that's the TExES exam I took-and passed-this year), but never even got a call for an interview. I did have an interview at a job fair, but wasn't called back for the second interview. Anyway, I got an email from the university earlier in the month stating that, if I want to do student teaching in the Spring, I have to submit the application before October 1. (Now, if you're counting, today is Sunday and October 1 is Tuesday.) I started the application and read a statement that said applicants must have been admitted to the Initial Teacher Certification program. There's a problem there. I completed my admissions application in, like, March, but I haven't completed all the other requirements. I still have 10 hours of videos to watch for my observations and write up a paper, answering specific questions, about my observation experience. A few minutes after 2:00 pm, I read that statement and quickly calculated in my head that there is not enough time for that.

I've been wondering about student teaching. The main problem is that it is unpaid. I can't possibly continue to work my current job and do student teaching, which would mean that I would have to quit my job. I've been praying about this for a while. When I didn't get a teaching position, I started praying even harder about what to do this Spring. I think God just gave me the answer. Maybe I'm not supposed to teach until next school year. I'm taking the 4-8 generalist TExES next year, which will broaden my area of teaching, possibly giving me a better chance at getting a position for Fall. It also occurs to me that it may be better to do student teaching, if necessary, toward the end of my education. Although it wasn't the way I really wanted or expected, God, in His infinite wisdom, has answered another prayer. I think He's trying to teach me to listen and wait for His timing. I'm hoping I learn. Soon.

Group Projects and Turkey Hats

Today was not my typical Saturday. Dr. L assigned us to groups of two or three to do presentations when we meet again next Monday. This morning was pretty much the only time the three of us could all meet face to face. Now, if you know me at all, you know I am not a morning person. Most Saturdays, I don't even get out of my pajamas, much less leave my house by 9:30 am. But, there I was this morning, leaving home at 9:30, heading to Starbucks for some caffeine before I went to TAMU-T for our meeting. One of the other girls needed to change the time to 10:45 instead of 10. Fine with me; the drive to the university takes me 30 minutes, so I was gonna be late. Then I realized that I had to buy gas before I headed out there. Fortunately, I was the first one there, so I had time to set up my laptop. Since I was there anyway, I decided yesterday that I would go ahead and work on some other homework. I got my paper for Mr./Dr. G's class written and submitted before I decided to leave so Paul and I could get some lunch.

After lunch, we did a little shopping. I was happy with the few movies we bought at Best Buy and the book (Si-cology by Si Robertson) and silicone bracelets I picked up at Lifeway. My favorite purchase of the day came from Target. A few weeks ago, I bought Paul a turkey hat to wear for Thanksgiving.

I found another one and I had to have it!

I am set for all my Thanksgiving festivities this year!

Another amazing thing has happened this month. I have apparently lost more weight. My size 18 pants are practically falling off of me. Now the size 16 pants I bought last month are looser than they should be. I bought a pair of blue jeans the other day and decided to try another size. I was a little shocked when these actually fit!

I thought maybe it was just because they're a little stretchy. Today I bought a new pair of pants for work: size 14! I even tried on a pair of skinny jeans that were size 14. (I didn't realize they were skinny jeans when I picked them up, but I decided to try 'em on anyway.) They fastened perfectly, but I didn't like the way the legs fit. The annoying thing about it is that I still wear at least a 2X in shirts. (I have an apple body type, so my top is bigger than my bottom.) I have some tops that I really like and some of them are getting too big. I guess that's the downfall of losing weight. 

God is continuing to bless me in ways I don't even realize. And probably don't really appreciate. Tomorrow we're planning to visit a church. I'm planning to pay my tithe there, something I haven't done in far too long. I know from experience that my life and my finances are better when I tithe faithfully. When I don't, I know it is at least partially due to a lack of faith. There's a part of me that says "I won't have enough for everything I need if I pay it." But God has proven me wrong many, many times. Since I'm leaving the big fish, it's time to practice my faith.

I love finding cool pictures on Facebook.

I just saw these two pictures on Facebook and wanted to share them.

I'm not sure why, exactly, but I really love all those "Keep Calm" pictures. And the other picture is what this blog is all about. I know God has a great plan for my life. I just have to follow Him.

I just don't wanna . . .

I am tired. I am sleepy. It's 11:30 pm. I haven't even started reading the chapter for Human Growth and Development tomorrow night. And right now, I just don't wanna read it.

Every semester, since my second ever semester in college, I inevitably have at least one chapter that I just don't have time to read. I think this may be one of those times. I don't even know how long the chapter is; I haven't really had time to look at it until now.

On the positive side, I have a head start on my technology class. I already have an account on del.icio.us account and a flickr account. I just need to add some stuff to them for this week. Those aren't the only assignments, of course, but I figure already having the accounts and knowing a little about using the sites puts me ahead of where I'd be otherwise.

And be on the lookout! I found the perfect digital scrapbook kit to make a photo for my blog header. The kit is called Whale of a Tale by Scraps N Pieces. I'm hoping to "do it up", as my scrap friend Menda says, tomorrow and get it posted.

I am so glad that God is more faithful than I am. It was nice to actually get up and go to church Sunday. I'm planning to go visit a different church this Sunday. A coworker says it's great. It sounds like the type of church I would love to be a part of. I just need to keep my butt in gear and get going. I know everything else in my life is so much more enjoyable when I'm doing everything I know God wants me to do. I'm on the right path. I'm leaving the belly of the big fish, but I'm not quite strolling on the beach yet. But at least I can see the shore now!

You're not gonna believe this!

If you know me well at all, you know I procrastinate. Throughout my career as an undergrad, I have justified it by pointing out that I always did better on the papers I wrote the night before they were due and often did better on tests when I crammed the night before. The problem with doing that is extra stress. Working a full-time job and being a full-time grad student is stressful enough; I don't need the extra stress of procrastination. Granted, I usually finish reading my chapters on Sunday and Monday nights. There is a good reason for that. If I read the chapters at the beginning of the week, I'll forget what I read by the next week when it's time to take the tests. I pace myself. And I try to get the assignments for my web class, Teaching with Emerging Technologies, done early. This week, I actually accomplished that goal. I even took a screen shot to prove it.

Now I have more time for researching and working on the final project. Don't ask me to explain it. Even though I've read the assignment a few times, I don't really remember exactly what the project is. I also need to get all my research done for Human Growth and Development. I don't want to get stuck not having enough resources and not be able to get something soon enough through inter-library loan. 

I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I guess trusting God is helping me grow in more ways than one.

Of Birthdays and Chuck Taylors

This week has been much better than last week started. My meds kicked in and my UTI is improving. (I'm sure it would be even better if I could remember to take my meds like I'm supposed to. Since I had to move the box I keep my meds in to the kitchen instead of the bedroom, I keep forgetting them.) Friday the 13th was my 42nd birthday. Paul and I spent the day Saturday celebrating in Shreveport/Bossier City, Louisiana. (Did I mention that my student loan finally came in?!) I got a coupon in the mail from DSW when they sent me my rewards card, so I was dying to get some new shoes. The stores there, even Target, have different stuff than the ones here in Texarkana and I wanted to go clothes shopping. We bought all our fur babies some goodies at Petco (since we don't have one here) and I got a few new books at Barnes & Noble. I ended up only getting one pair of pants at Target. My plan at DSW was to get a new pair of New Balance shoes; the ones I have are getting pretty old and worn down. Since they didn't have any in my size, I looked at the clearance section, where I found my new favorite pair of shoes:  pink Converse All Stars.

The last time I had an actual pair of Chuck Taylors was for PE in fifth or sixth grade. I was devastated because nobody else had shoes like that and I thought they were dorky. Since the '90s, I've loved them!

My classes have gone pretty well this week. I take my makeup exam for my research class this Friday after I get off work. (Friday is the only day I'm off work early enough to make it to the Testing Center.) Mr./Dr. G commented on the paper I wrote Sunday:  "Extremely good discussion with both sides presented!" It was only worth 10 points, but I'm about as happy as if it were worth all 50 points. I got 22 out of 25 on my Chapter 2 test in Human Growth and Development last week. I'm pretty sure I'm getting a B in that class, but I'll take it.

I had planned to go to the university Sunday to work on my reading and my homework. But I procrastinated. I didn't get up and start moving around until after 12:00. We had a few errands to run and a little shopping to do, so it was about 4:00 when we left Target. The library closes at 6, so there wasn't much point in going to the university. Fortunately, Starbucks was empty enough that we got seats where I could plug in the laptop. We spent a few hours there while I finished reading and wrote my paper. I'm thinking we may go back there this Sunday instead of going to the university.

I'm actually trying to get ahead this week in my web class, which will leave me more time for research for that class and Human Growth and Development. Anyway, we're learning about Excel this week. I answered the questions for the first part pretty easily. My problem came when I had to start actually working on a spreadsheet. I must've done something wrong, because I got stuck. It wasn't giving me the option to perform one of the actions we're supposed to perform. I tried to figure it out on my own, but that wasn't working. I had to message Mr./Dr. G, so I'm done with it for tonight. Since I have group the next two nights, I may not be back on it until Friday. After I take my test, of course. Now to read the five chapters for the test in my research class Monday night!

It's not been my week . . .

Before I can tell you about this week, though, I need to rewind to last week. I knew last weekend that I had developed a urinary tract infection. Since Monday was Labor Day, I couldn't call my doctor's office. One of the first things I did when I got to work Tuesday morning was call the office and leave a message on the nurse's voice mail. Before class, I called to see if they had called in a prescription. I called again Wednesday. Still no meds. I'm almost positive I called and left the nurse another voice mail Thursday. I never got a call. 

This weekend, I knew the UTI was getting worse because my back was starting to hurt. I called again Monday morning and left yet another message for the nurse. By 10:30, I was hurting so bad I could hardly even sit still. A little after noon, I asked my supervisor if it was okay for me to leave to go to the doctor. I had Paul come get me and take me to an urgent care clinic. Then it was off to Target to get my prescriptions. We still had plenty of time to stop for lunch and I made it back to work half an hour early. Let's just say that the side effects of the meds started pretty quickly. I considered contacting Dr. L to see if I could miss class and take my exam later. But, we were learning about the library before the test, so I really wanted to try to make it. That was not my best decision of the day. I made it almost an hour before I had to ask to leave. (Now I just need to figure out when I'll have time to take the test.)

Today didn't start out much better. I got up for work and quickly realized that I wasn't going to make it. I went back to bed. I knew I couldn't miss my class tonight. Dr. R made it pretty clear the first night that missing classes is not acceptable. Fortunately, I started feeling a little better this afternoon. One side effect went away, another started. At least this one isn't as disruptive. I almost had the chapter read by the time we needed to get ready to leave. Then my day started to get worse again.

The porch by our back door only has like three steps. When I was stepping off the bottom step, I fell. I don't know how it happened. I just know I ended up laying in the dirt on my right side with my books and purse laying right there next to me. My faded black jeans looked like I'd been rolling in the dirt; I couldn't brush all the dirt off. On the positive side, I didn't really seem to hurt anything and I didn't get my shirt dirty. And it was the first time I've worn my TobyMac shirt from Winter Jam. This was definitely another instance of God watching out for me. I've hurt myself with what seemed to be a less dangerous fall. I'm sure I'll be sore and bruised tomorrow, but I'm thankful that's it. 

And, best of all, my student loan for this year has finally been awarded. I checked after I got home from class tonight. To my surprise, there it was. I accepted the whole amount and signed my master promissory note, so, hopefully, I'll be getting my refund soon. Maybe I'll be able to find out by the end of the week when it will be disbursed. That's one stressor gone, another prayer answered. 

In the morning I'll go back to work and I have group tomorrow night. I hope my week continues to improve.

Motivation. Or not.

Tomorrow is Monday. More specifically, it's the third Monday of the semester. That means I have class tomorrow night. (It's a web-enhanced class and we only meet every other week.) In that class, we will have a test over the first five chapters in our textbook. How many of those chapters have I read? One. And, right now, I really don't want to read those other four chapters. I would love it if that information could somehow just jump from the book and land in my mind. But, even in Connie World, that doesn't happen. I know I have to read them. My problem is getting motivated to do just that. I have all kinds of other things just bouncing around in my head, begging for attention. The thought of reading the chapters is just sitting there, in a corner, trying to hide. One way or another, I'll manage to get this stuff read, but right now, I'm not sure how.

Grad School Lesson

Here's a lesson for anyone entering graduate school. If you are in an actual physical, face to face class and the professor tells you that you will be having a test, make sure you take a pencil with you. Otherwise, you may be like me and two of my classmates Tuesday night - hurrying to the bookstore before it closes so you can pay $5 for a pencil when you could have bought one for $1 at Dollar Tree. (Granted, this mechanical pencil is nicer than one I would have bought at Dollar Tree, but they would both work about the same. Click it, somewhere, to advance the lead, then fill in the bubbles. Did I really need to spend an extra four bucks? It doesn't even have a university logo or anything; it's just a blue mechanical pencil with a cushioned grip. Okay, maybe the one I could've gotten at Dollar Tree wouldn't have had the cushioned grip, but the test is only 25 questions. I can use a writing utensil without a cushioned grip.) When Dr. L told us during our first class meeting that we'll be having a test the next time we meet, she told us that we would be using Scantrons, so I immediately knew I'll need a pencil when we meet Monday night. (That class is "web-enhanced", so we only meet every other week.) Dr. R apparently forgot to tell us. Or maybe he thought we should know that already, since we are, as he told us last week, "elite". He just said the test would be 25 multiple choice questions. Anyway, always be prepared, with a pencil in hand, for a test in grad school.

Notice that I said I could have bought my pencil at Dollar Tree? There's a reason for that. Dollar Tree is one of my favorite stores. I usually go in there at least once a week. And I never spend just $1. I go in there for one or two things. The next thing I know, I've found two or three $20+ hardcover books, something for Alex (my nephew), some cute little basket or container, pens, earbuds, a wind chime, a flying pig, a waving flower with ladybugs, a pack of dividers, a stapler, a pair of scissors, and who knows what else. You can bet I was happy when they built a new one only about five miles or so from our house. Not only do we no longer have to drive all the way across town, but this one is bigger and better. Yep, I'm happy, happy, happy!

I do not have to be in control . . .

I have this almost pathological need to be in control of my assignments. Individual assignments, paired assignments, group assignments, it doesn't really matter. I thought I had learned my lesson in Summer II. I wasn't able to participate at my usual level on a group book review for one of my classes. Not that I didn't want to, of course, but I simply didn't have time between working full-time and taking two pretty time intensive classes in one five week semester. In my web class this semester, it looks like we have a few group assignments, the first of which is to develop a group wiki. (If, like me, the only wikis you've ever heard of are Wikipedia and Wikileaks, you can check out these links the professor gave us:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiki and http://www.techterms.com/definition/wiki )

I have to admit, this is driving me a little nuts. I want to hurry up and get my stuff for this class knocked out as soon as I can so I have the rest of the week for my other classes and my personal life. (Yes, I really do think I can still have a personal life. A little one, at least.) The rest of my group is apparently not where I am right now. I heard from a couple of them after I messaged them, so I know some are still doing the reading and watching the videos. After last semester, I know about trouble fitting everything in.

My instinct is to just take over. Follow the professor's instructions for setting up the wiki and just let everybody else do their part and, hopefully, have it all done a little early. But I know that most likely isn't what I need to do. I am a group member, not the leader of the group. It is OUR group, not MY group. (Did you notice I keep referring to it as my group?)

For now, I am just sitting back and letting it all unfurl the way it's supposed to. At least that's what I'm trying to do. I couldn't even tell you how many times I've gone to the Blackboard page for the class and checked the messages, the discussion board, and the group discussion board, where one of the group members posted a couple times. But for tonight, I've checked it for the last time. I hope!

Let there be books!

My textbooks came in today! It was kind of a funny story. On our way home for my lunch break, Paul and I had to stop at a red light to turn off the highway into our neighborhood. There was a UPS truck sitting across from us, waiting to turn the same direction. Paul says "I think you're about to get your books." I thought it was more likely that he would be going further down the street we turn off of, then coming back. Once we made the first turn off the highway, we made our second turn. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the UPS truck turn, too. Then we turned onto our street. Again, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the truck turn, too. We got out of the car and met the driver in the front yard. I was so happy I finally got my books, I had to take a picture. If you look closely, you'll see Bevo, the only one of our kitties that I named, checking out my human growth and development book.

I was somewhat relieved in class last night to hear that I wasn't the only one who didn't have my books yet. Now to read Chapter 2 for my human growth and development class and read the first five chapters for my research class. That has been worrying me a little. I looked; I'll be reading about 87 pages.

I really think this experience was another lesson from God. He was, again, telling me to wait when I prayed about it. It's just another reminder that He has this all worked out. I just have to trust and follow Him.

Priorities, priorities, priorities

Keeping my priorities straight is something I've always struggled with. Apparently, nothing has changed. I intended to get all my homework done as early as I could last week. It didn't quite happen. I was doing well Friday night; I got the articles read and the videos watched for my web class. With a long weekend ahead, I was hoping to get everything knocked out for the web class and human growth and development by Sunday night. Then Saturday happened. I slept. I woke up. I ate. I went back to sleep within an hour. Sleeping was how I spent most of Saturday. Sunday wasn't much better. I finally got around to writing the paper for the web class; it was due at 11:30 pm and I submitted it before 8:30 pm. Then I started reading the chapter that I was supposed to write 5-8 pages on for human growth and development. I don't remember getting very far. Monday was Labor Day, so I really didn't want to do homework. But since I was so lazy all weekend, I knew it was inevitable. I tried reading the chapter for the paper. (I don't think I was even halfway through it when I fell asleep). Then I decided to read it page by page and write what I got from that page. After a few pages, I didn't even have one whole page (doubled spaced). When I realized it was starting to get late and I still didn't have much done, I decided to read the chapter from the textbook so I'd be prepared for the test. By the time I got the chapter read, it was around midnight. Since today was a class day, I had to be at work at 8 am. I decided it wasn't worth the 25 points to stay up late enough to write that paper. At least I think I did well on the test!

This week will be better. I think. The professor of my web class inadvertently posted the wrong assignments. That kinda threw my plan off. He just corrected it, so now I can get started. Apparently each semester will be a lesson in priorities. Which assignments need to be done first? Which ones can wait? Should I read a chapter or do an assignment? When do I work on my research? All these questions (and more) will be answered.

Here's what I do know. God must be my number one priority. Again, I struggle with that. I get distracted. I know He is the most important; without Him, nothing else matters. Now, if I could only keep Him at #1. Just the small, everyday things is where that should start:  Prayer, reading the Bible. Unfortunately, I often fail. I pray, but not always in the ways I should. My Bible reading has fallen behind. And, after living in this house for over two years, we still haven't found a church. I am so thankful that God is always faithful and that His love never fails.

I am a Christian

I just saw this on Facebook and had to share it.

That's pretty much it. I am definitely not perfect, just forgiven. I am no better than any other person that has ever lived or ever will live. What it all boils down to is that I deserve nothing from God, yet He gives me everything. 

So much for a relaxing holiday . . .

Well, my Week 1 assignments for my online class were due by 11:30 pm. After being completely unproductive yesterday, I felt a little pressured today. Apparently, as usual, I was stressing about nothing. I submitted my assignments a little before 8:30. By 9:00, I had a notification on my phone that a grade was posted. To my surprise, I got 50 out of 50 points. Now I have a chapter to read and write a 5-8 page paper about what I got out of the chapter, plus read the chapter for the test Tuesday evening. Friday night I was thinking that I may not have to do homework Monday. I have apparently procrastinated too long. Writing the paper itself probably won't take more than a couple hours. The long part will be the reading. That makes it sound like I don't like to read. I love to read! The thing is, I don't love to read just anything. I love to read things that interest me. The first couple articles I had to read this week were not interesting; fortunately, the other two were. Now, let's hope the human growth and development chapters aren't boring.

I had no real lesson or epiphany today. It doesn't happen every day. But I know that God loves me, no matter how long I procrastinate or stress about writing papers or other homework.

Have a happy Labor Day!

Thank you, God and amazon.com!

First thing this morning, payday, I ordered my textbooks - a grand total of $234.55. It could've been a little higher. I was considering spending another $3.99 for one business day shipping for my human growth and development book. I was going back and forth in my decision to pay for shipping or just use the free two day shipping. I mean, with Monday being a holiday, I wouldn't get it until some time Tuesday, which would be too late for me to read the chapter. I had pretty much decided to just go with the free shipping anyway. Then I realized something that made me realize I was making the right decision; Amazon offers a free seven day trial to download on the Kindle. I've ordered my books, which should be here Wednesday and Thursday (which actually confuses me since both are being sent from Amazon), and I still have access to read the chapter before the test Tuesday night. Now, if I can just get everything read and get the papers written on time. Like I knew all along, God's already got this all figured out. And He answered another prayer pretty quickly.

 

I saw this posted on the Facebook page God Bless You. I immediately thought about all the things I've shared on here this week. It just cemented how important it is to not only pray, but to stop and listen so I can hear when He speaks. I can't remember where in the Bible it is, but I seem to remember a verse that says that the wise man remains silent and the fool speaks. I think it was somewhere in Proverbs. It is very good advice, no matter where I read it. One thing I have learned is that every thought that enters my mind doesn't have to exit my mouth. I sometimes still speak before I think, but not nearly as often as I did when I was younger. For a long time, I didn't really have a filter. I've also learned that sometimes, even when what I have to say is true and beneficial, I don't have to be the one to say it. Sometimes it's better to let someone else figure it out for him/herself. Sometimes people need to think of something themselves to be able to accept it.

How did I do it?

I was just thinking about when I was an undergrad. I went to college most days and worked most evenings, yet I was still able to get my homework done and not be tired all the time. Then I thought about it some more. I went straight from high school to college; I was only 22 when I graduated with my B.S. And my work schedule was much different. During my first two years of college, I worked on campus, often during long breaks between classes, or after my classes were finished. I also worked weekends as the hostess at a restaurant. Between the two jobs, I almost worked full-time hours while I was taking 12-13 hours per semester. After I transferred to complete the upper division classes, I was working one part-time job, mostly in the evenings, but I was easily able to work around my class schedule. I lived at home with my parents and sisters. I had very little financial responsibility.

My life as a grad student is quite different. I work a full-time job and have bills to pay. My work schedule is not very flexible. I'm a substance abuse counselor for an intensive outpatient treatment program. For the past year, I have worked three 10 hour days per week, ending at 9:00 pm (approximately, anyway!); my other 10 hours were spread out over two days. Since I have two evening classes this semester, I now only work two 10 hour days, spreading my other 20 hours over three days, two of which end early due to my classes. I still don't get home until after 9 pm three nights a week. (This week it was four nights because I chose to do something else instead of coming straight home Tuesday night.) It's pretty hard to get a lot done during the week, which means most of my reading and studying must happen on the weekends. I mean, I'm still reading the same article I started reading Tuesday for my web class.

Is there ever really a perfect time to continue your education? I seriously doubt it. After this semester, I'll decide if I'll be a full-time or part-time grad student next year. All summer, I kept thinking how much easier this would all be if I were teaching instead of counseling. I'm not so sure I was right. During the summer, yes. If I weren't working during the summer, then it would be easier to complete two classes per summer semester. Listening to my teacher classmates Monday and Tuesday night, I decided that they probably don't have much of an advantage over me, if any. And many of them are parents. I think they definitely have a harder time than I do getting everything done. The thought "If I would've just gone into education in the first place, I wouldn't be in this situation now" creeps into my head. One thing I've learned in the 23 years since I graduated high school is that I wasn't ready then. Now I'm ready. That wasn't my time; this is. God knew exactly what I was going to do before I was ever even born. Right now, I am exactly where He wants me to be. Or, at least, I'm working on it.

Me? Impatient?!

Maybe just a little bit (note sarcasm here). I cannot tell you how many times a day I think about calling Financial Aid to see if they've starting reviewing my financial aid application yet. But I don't. Really, I don't want to be one of those students. You know the ones I mean. The people (students) that think they are the only ones that are important. Somehow, out of all the students whose financial aid applications have not yet been reviewed and approved, those students think their applications should be bumped to the top of the list and be reviewed first. Their financial aid is more important than that of any other student. Honestly, I know I'm not that special and that my application is no more important than the application on top of the stack. On the other hand, I am selfish and impatient. These are two of the character defects I recognize in myself most often. I am no more important than anyone else and deserve no special treatment. And I really think I don't want special treatment. I just think the system should be revamped.

I can't remember exactly how much of the situation I have already explained here, so, here it goes. After I had already registered for both Summer I and Summer II semesters, I received a notification that my pace percentage was too low. The summer semesters were "warning" semesters and I would be ineligible for financial aid in the Fall semester if my pace was not 67% or above by the end of summer. Had I known this was the case before I registered for summer, I would have only taken classes in Summer I. Since that semester ended in July, there would have been ample time for my financial aid application for 2013-2014 to be reviewed and my award offered and accepted prior to the beginning of the fall semester. Why did I register for both summer semesters at the same time? Because financial aid is awarded for both summer semesters at the same time, which makes sense.

Here's how I think it should work. When a student has a warning semester for inadequate pace percentage, the Financial Aid office should go ahead and review the application, then put it on hold until the warning semester is completed. If the student's pace percentage is now at an acceptable level, offer him or her the approved amount. The student can then accept whatever portion of the award he or she so chooses and be on track for the beginning of the semester. But that's just my opinion. I understand that some students still won't meet pace, which makes reviewing those applications a complete waste of time. With the economy as it is, not all students (obviously!) have the financial resources to purchase the required textbooks and supplies on their own. I am fortunate that God has blessed me as He has. I will be able to purchase my books Friday - in two days - but will not have much extra money for things like gas for the car, food, etc. I'm not complaining, but I'm sure there are students in similar situations that won't be able to get their books until their financial aid is approved and, maybe, disbursed.

I know God is in charge of my financial aid. In the grand scheme of things, this is a minor problem, even though it seems so important to me right now. He's also in charge of my textbooks. (You remember that discussion from the last couple days, right?) After Paul checked at Textbook Brokers for me, I learned today that they have neither of the books I need in stock. Since the university bookstore is so much more expensive, I will be ordering my books from amazon.com. No problem. I registered for the student account thingy, so I get free two day shipping for now. Then I realized, there is a bit of a problem. Payday is Friday, which is followed by Saturday and Sunday, which are not business days. Okay, maybe I can pay for extra shipping to get at least the book I need to read first on Monday. There's the problem. Monday is Labor Day, so it isn't a business day, either. The next business day will be Tuesday. I work from 8 am to 2:30 pm, then get something to eat and go to class. No time to read and actually comprehend a chapter before class at 4:00. I have decided that it's not a huge deal. Dr. R said we will discuss the chapter before taking the multiple choice quiz. I am not completely ignorant of human growth and development. I had to take it for my Bachelor's in Psychology. Unfortunately, I completed that degree in 1994. During the class, I should be able to absorb enough to at least answer some of the 25 questions right. And the quizzes aren't a huge part of our final grade. Not being prepared for one quiz won't kill me. No reason for me to really stress about it. Besides, God's got this!

Just be quiet and listen . . .

Those are words I've heard many, many times in my life. Or at least some variation of them. I've heard it from my parents, my sisters, my teachers, my friends, my husband, even my five year old nephew. I'd probably hear them from my pets/babies if they could speak. Most of all, I've heard them from God. I don't hear Him like I hear my family. Like many Christians (Yes, I said the word. If it bothers you, that's your issue, not mine.), I often hear God speak to me through thoughts that seemingly come from nowhere, internal feelings--sometimes peaceful, sometimes anxious--basically when I'm actually taking time to be quiet and listen. I heard Him say this to me this morning during a rather slow time at work. I looked at the payments that will come out of this check. I looked at the prices of the books again. I definitely won't be buying them from the university bookstore, but I will have the money to buy my books. That's great, since I found out tonight in Human Growth and Development that we will have a chapter test each week, beginning next Tuesday.

God definitely answers prayers. This time, He worked pretty quickly. Of course, I would've preferred to have the answer before last night. But, as I often remind myself, He knows the whole plan. And it's perfect. I don't know how many times I've heard somebody say that God didn't answer their prayer. I understand the confusion; I used to think the same thing. As I have grown in my relationship with God, one of the biggest things I've learned is that He always answers the sincere prayer. I asked for God not to let my papaw die. He said "No, I know better." I asked God to bring me the man He had designed to be my husband. He said "Wait. I'll bring him when you're ready." I asked God for a way to get my textbooks. He said "Yes." I just had to slow down, be quiet, and listen to Him. If I'd done that last night, I may have gotten my answer then.

No books? No problem.

My first face to face class this semester has come and gone. It's an educational research class, so you know what that means: RESEARCH! At the end of the semester, I'll be turning in a research proposal. I'm not exactly sure what that means at this point, but I'm guessing I will be writing a proposal for some topic to be researched. I've printed off everything I need for this week in my web-based class, which is about using technology in education. (I'm really pretty excited about this one!) I'll be off and running on it. Tomorrow night is the first meeting of my human growth and development class. (I don't have high expectations; I've had an undergrad class with the same name. How different can it really be? I guess I'll start finding out tomorrow.) This semester will be busy, but definitely doable. Especially since the technology class is only a seven week class.

When I admitted to grad school in 1999, I enrolled in two classes. Due to work, I had the enviable choice of dropping a class or failing it. Since I elected to drop the class, my pace percentage for financial aid was below 67%. By completing all four of my classes this summer, I raised my pace percentage to an acceptable level. What's the problem with that? Summer II ended Friday, August 16. The financial aid hold wasn't removed until Tuesday, August 20. Fall classes started today, Monday, August 26. My financial aid hasn't been approved yet. I don't know if they've even started reviewing it yet. All I know is that a guy from Financial Aid told me that I am in line for review as of the 20th. Oh, I also know that there is currently a peak in financial aid applications. (He told me that, too.) My financial aid will "hopefully" be approved in "the near future". He suggested I check my university email and web for students regularly (which I translated to "daily"), so I can accept the offer and satisfy any requests as soon as possible. I was able to get an emergency tuition loan and sign up for a payment plan, and I have a $500 scholarship this semester, so my tuition is all good for now. My problem is books. I don't just have a lot of extra money after the bills are paid. At the lowest possible prices for used books from amazon.com, the books would cost about $200. Since I don't have a student loan with a refund yet, I can't get a book voucher. Now I get to see how God is going to work out a way for me to have my books in time to complete the first assignments. Oh, yeah, and pass a test over the first five chapters in two weeks.

Have I mentioned that I'm not very patient with things like this? I need to have a plan. I need to have the things I need in advance. Some people are comfortable not having a book on the first day of class. I am not one of them. I was always the nerd that would start reading Chapter 1 before the semester even started. I am pretty anal about my grades. I need to jump right in and start reading the chapters. I am so out of my comfort zone right now.

And I have a feeling that's right where God wants me. He wants me to depend on Him to get my books instead of scheming and finding a way on my own. (My usual MO.) I guess it's just a part of leaving the big fish.

I'm so . . .

Anxious. I think that's the word I'm looking for. My first fall semester class is at 6:00. Work was not the typical Monday with all kinds of craziness and chaos. It was too quiet. I had a grand total of two, count them, two clients show for their sessions. At lunch, I went home to eat and print the goodies for my web based class. My printer wouldn't print. I guess the poor thing's rebelling because it wants more ink. At least that's what I'm hoping the problem is. I guess I'll find out when I get home tonight with a nice, full ink cartridge.

In the midst of all my anxiety and night-before-first-day-of-the-new-semester freaking out, Paul calmly says "I'm proud of you." I look at him like he just told me he ate my chocolate. He says "For going back to school and working full-time." He knows how to calm me down when I'm a nervous wreck. One of the many reasons I love him so much.

Leaving the big fish? What the heck?

Are you familiar with the biblical story of Jonah? If you aren't here's a brief summary. God tells Jonah what He wants him to do. Jonah says "No way! I know you're God and all, but I'm doing what I wanna do." He ends up in a big storm, knows it's his own fault, and, long story short, gets swallowed by a big fish. I think most of us have these times; times when we know what God wants us to do, but we refuse. I've been doing that most of my life.

Before I even made it to high school, I knew God wanted me to be a teacher. I don't remember if I ever told my parents that I was going to be a teacher, but I knew. Then I entered my rebellious phase. And my mom became a teacher. She graduated college just days before I graduated high school. Everyone expected me to be a teacher. I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. That idea only lasted a few years. Again, long story short, I am currently a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor in the state of Texas. 

I have made many mistakes in my life and tried to run my life my own way. God knows best. I am finally willing to follow His calling. In June, I enrolled in graduate school. I am working to become a certified middle school teacher through the Alternative Certification Program at Texas A&M University - Texarkana. When I'm done, I'll also have a Master's of Science in Curriculum and Instruction. So far, it isn't going the way I wanted. I wasn't able to secure a teaching position for the 2013-2014 school year, which means I'll have to do Student Teaching in the spring semester. I'm disappointed and a little worried. But, I know God is in charge. 

This blog is my way to share about my struggle to leave the big fish and follow God, depending on Him and trying to remember to pray instead of worry.