As Madea would say . . .

"Halleluyer!!!"

God has definitely answered my prayer this week.

I received my email this afternoon. I will be a new 5th grade teacher this year!!!

I talked to the HR Director at a local school district yesterday afternoon. She wanted to confirm some details and said she would be recommending me for the position at the board meeting last night. During my last hour of group, I received a call and a text from the principal at another school with whom I've talked for over a month. Their school board accepted the recommendation to hire me for an 8th grade science position. I told her about the other district. She said she understood, especially with all the confusion and as long as it has taken for her to be able to recommend me. I texted the HR director to confirm the board had accepted her recommendation before declining the other position.

All summer, I have prayed and God gave me the feeling that I should accept the first offer I received. I firmly believe I accepted the position He has planned for me the entire time. I would have started with the other district today and would have made more money, but I believe this is where God wants me. I received the email today confirming the position and giving instructions on registering for orientation. I excited beyond explanation. I can hardly wait to begin my orientation.

One of the funniest things about it: Paul knew I had the job before I knew. He went to the board meeting and actually spoke with the Superintendent and the HR Director, who both confirmed that I had the job.

Waiting for God's Timing

Sometimes, just sometimes, no news is good news, Other times, it's just frustrating. I'm still applying for teaching positions, but no job yet. The most recent interview was yesterday in a small town near which Paul and I lived when we were first married. I pray when I apply for a position. I pray prior to an interview. I ask God to give me the words He wants me to say during the interview and I ask for wisdom for the administrators making the decision. I know my life is in His hands. He already has a position chosen for me. I feel disappointed and, sometimes, frustrated when I don't get the job, but I don't want a job God doesn't want for me. I've learned that the hard way; I was miserable almost the entire time I worked for that company. There is a reason I still have the job I have. Maybe God isn't finished with me there quite yet.

It's altogether possible that the position God has planned for me isn't even available yet. Meanwhile, I'm debating whether I should apply for a specific position. It isn't a class I would want to teach long-term, but I could definitely do it to get my foot in the door and become an experienced teacher. There is still one position for which the principal planned to recommend me. However, she may not be able to fill the position due to a circumstance that I do not completely understand. I continue to pray, apply, and wait.

One of the verses that comes to my mind often as I pray, apply, and wait is Jeremiah 29:11 (HCSB) "For I know the plans I have for you"--this is the LORD's declaration--"plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

I am thankful for many things in my job search. First, I'm thankful for Paul and his support. I'm thankful for my mom and her encouragement. I'm thankful for all my Facebook friends and family members who are so supportive and who tell me about jobs. I try my best to make sure to thank each of them. I hope they realize how sincere I am and how much I appreciate them.

Soon enough, I'll post on here that God has led me to the position He has had planned for me the entire time.

Wow!

Here I am, on the eve of my first day of student teaching. With work, school, and illness, I was a little overwhelmed last semester. God, of course, saw me through and I ended up with A's in both classes. As it worked out, the only course I have this semester is my Clinical Practicum. That's a really good thing. With being at the school from 7:45 am to 3:45 pm Monday through Friday, my full-time work schedule had to change. I found out last Tuesday (yes, December 30) that my proposed work schedule wasn't approved. For reasons of which I am still unclear, I can't work on Saturdays. Less than one week before my new schedule starts, I found out that, instead of going from 40 hours a week to 33 hours a week, I'll only be able to work 25 hours a week. With my job being our only income, we've barely been making it as is.

I have to admit, I'm really unsure what will happen. I've been praying about this semester for quite a while. Actually, since I realized that I wouldn't get an internship. I keep reminding myself of several things. It's only four months. I should be finished with my student teaching by the beginning of May. I still have my student loan coming. I've been praying about it, and Paul and I are planning to switch cell phone carriers to get a cheaper plan. When my loan comes in, we'll pay off/catch up on a few bills. God is in control. He hasn't brought me this far to let me fail now. If this weren't in His plan, God would have stopped me before now. I've prayed the entire way and followed the doors He has opened.

The fact that everything has not gone my way doesn't mean that I'm doing the wrong thing. I think it means that God wants me to wait for Him and trust in Him. If it were easy, I could do it myself. I wouldn't need God. I believe this is another instance where God is proving to me that I do need Him, every minute of every day. Philippians 4:13 has been very important to me throughout this journey. My mom posted Ezra 7:10 on my Facebook timeline today. Not familiar with that verse? I wasn't, either. Here's the post from my mom:

We had this in Sunday School this morning and I thought of you.
Ezra 7:10
For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.

God helped Ezra and He can help you. We studied the first 10 verses of chapter 7 this morning, but you could read the whole book. It's pretty short.

With the realization that I will only be a part-time employee came the realization that I will no longer have insurance. I don't know if I've mentioned it in a previous post, but I have medical conditions for which I take medications. They're pretty much affordable with insurance. Without insurance, I don't know. I can't even really afford the $35 and $50 copays to see my doctors right now. But God will provide. I guess I'll be seeking medical care at the free clinic with the others in my area who have no insurance, can't afford insurance, and can't afford to see a regular doctor. But I know God is in control. I'm sure some things in my life needed to change. I guess this is a good way for me to change them.

Please don't read this and think that I'm just sitting here waiting for God to do something and make everything okay. I know that isn't how He works. As I recently read somewhere, God isn't some magician that just makes what we need appear. He works in many ways. I'm praying about finding a weekend job. I don't really want to work on weekends, but if I need to for a few months, I will. I'm still praying about my husband finding a job. He's been looking for so long, we're both becoming frustrated with it.

This will be a super busy semester. I'll give updates as I can. And if you're reading this, please keep both my husband and me in your prayers.

Why do we run?

You've seen my picture. You've probably surmised I am not a runner. Not physically, anyway. As the title and description of my blog told you, though, I have spiritually run for years. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.

A friend on Facebook is a youth minister. He asked his friends to complete the sentence "I stopped running from God when...." When I started typing my answer in the comments, Matthew 11:28-30 came to mind. Can't remember exactly what those verses say? Well, I couldn't remember the exact reference, but I know how to look it up. This is a quote from Jesus: "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (HCSB)

As I shared in my own Facebook status update, I have been a Christian since age 15 and stopped running when I was 42. I took some breaks during those 27 years, but, being completely honest, I ran, in some way, for the majority of them. I have read this passage from Matthew many, many times in various versions from King James to Contemporary English. Knowing that Jesus is offering me rest, why would I run? Why would any of us run?

I guess these verses never really spoke to me until now. Now I need to figure out why I ran for so long. I believe that figuring out the reason we did something is a big step in keeping ourselves from repeating the same mistakes. I guess I have some thinking to do.

If you haven't watched it, keep scrolling and watch the video of Tenth Avenue North's song "By Your Side".

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.

The Heat Is On . . .

To find a job. I interviewed at one school district a little over a month ago. It sounded so promising and it seemed like God had worked it out that I could make the interview without having to ask off work to do it. Then I waited. And waited. I've called the Deputy Superintendent that interviewed me a couple times and emailed him once. I emailed the Superintendent a week or so ago to make sure he knows I am seriously interested in working in that district. As of today, that district has only four positions still available. I'm only interested in one of those positions and it is one for which I've applied.

The district where I attended school from Kindergarten through 12th grade also has one position posted in which I am interested. My stepsister, who has already been hired by the same district this summer, suggested I write cover letters to the Principal and Superintendent, explaining who I am and the fact that I would love to teach in the district where I was educated. She also suggested I call them. I emailed my letters this afternoon. I looked at my schedule at work tomorrow; it looks like I have an opening where I will have time to try to call them. To be honest, even though I would prefer a social studies class to English (my second choice), I would love to work in my "home" district. For one thing, the pay is better. For another, my nephews are in school there. Part of me would like to move back there. And if I teach there, even better!

School starts on August 25. If I were hired by the first district I mentioned, it looks like my first day would be August 15. If I were hired by my "home" district, I think I would start August 14. Since Friday is August 1, I really feel like I need to know something by then so I can give a two week notice to my current job. However, I told my supervisor I'll let her know as soon as I know something. I don't know for sure that she understands that may be less than two weeks before I would start.

The past couple weeks have truly been in God's hands. I'm not sure I would've made it through intact without Him. Each day has been a struggle to maintain some level of sanity and do what I know He wants me to do that day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not totally in line. I'm getting closer, but I'm not there yet. There are a couple relatively simple things I haven't gotten back on track; well, one is much easier than the other. I am a child of God, the one who holds everything in His hands. He's got this. He picks up my broken pieces, even when I am the reason I'm broken.

Ummm . . .

Work was a chore this week. We were closed for the holiday on Monday, but Tuesday through Thursday seemed like Monday. There were even moments when I had to remind myself that today was Friday. Exhaustion set in. I've barely even thought about my homework. Tomorrow I'll have to buckle down, clarify my assignments in my mind, and get it done. I also need to find out what Dr. H really expects of our chapter presentations. My assignment partner and I haven't discussed it yet and I'm still uncertain how we're supposed to present the chapter. And it's due February 1.

Here's a little secret about me. I actually like being a student. I know it doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but I've always loved being in school. (Maybe that's one reason I've secretly wanted to be a teacher for so many years.)

My source of peace in all this is God. I know He has the solution to my exhaustion. He sees the whole big picture. In Him is where my true joy and happiness are found. Without Him, I would have and be nothing. Everything I am and everything I have are blessings from God. I had such a tough day Wednesday that I needed a creative outlet when I got home that night. Here's what I made:

I saw a Facebook post with this verse on it when I was home for lunch Wednesday afternoon. I've read it thousands of times in my life, but it really spoke to me Wednesday. God's plans for me are the reason I'm doing all this; why I have the job I have and why I'm in grad school. I'm planning to print this off, frame it, and hang it in my office. Some days, I really need to be reminded that everything I am experiencing fits into God's plan for my life. Thanks to Maggie for creating the great kit I used, Faith365: Choose Joy. You can find it in her store at My Memories or at MagsGraphics.

Christmas has passed.

That's a sure sign the year is almost over. It also means it was time for Noelle to head back to the North Pole. I guess even a spy elf's got a job to do at the Pole. I guess she stuck around as long as she could. Here are the last of her adventures for this year.

We had a great Christmas Eve and Christmas day, spending both of them with family.

I've been thinking a lot lately about everything I haven't been doing as a Christian. We've lived here almost three years and haven't found a new church yet. Honestly, we haven't really looked yet. I've slept in on Sundays, forgotten to set the alarm, or just flat out didn't plan to go because of homework or going to bed too late on Saturdays. I pray, but we haven't been reading the Bible daily. Would I have the strength to stand up to Satan if he were attacking me heavily? I hope so, but I haven't done much lately to ensure it. I've added this to my prayers. I ask God to strengthen me and draw me closer to him. I pray for those that are in heavy spiritual warfare, but hope it never really happens to me.

I don't do resolutions for the new year; I set goals. I don't always accomplish them, but goals are more meaningful to me than resolutions. One of my goals for 2014 is to be a Christian God can be proud of. I want to make sure I'm in His will, not in His way. I know that things will not be perfect, but certain aspects of my life will run more smoothly if I do what I know He wants. He's pretty clear about some things in the Bible, but I don't make sure to do all those things. How can He give me more if I don't utilize what He's already given me?

As the deadline looms . . .

I have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. Today is Thursday. The last weekly assignments for my tech class are due by 11:30 Sunday evening and the final project is due Monday evening. I think I'll have a busy weekend. I'm debating whether I should go to the university - or Starbucks - Saturday and Sunday. I really wish I could take tomorrow off from work, but, alas, I didn't plan ahead. I'm considering checking the calendars for my other two classes and requesting some time off toward the end of the semester. I haven't really had a chance to start the research on any of my research projects. I've gathered some info, but I haven't had a chance to really read any of it yet. That's where God comes in. My mom always told me "Study like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God."

As I have said more than once on this blog, God is in control. If it weren't for His guidance, I wouldn't be in grad school right now. Once I felt like this was what He wanted me to do, I asked Him over and over again to make it happen if I was on the right path and stop me if I was wrong. Without God's help, I would have never made it through Summer II with a B average. (I really should've had an A in one class, but I have to let that go. Let's just say 25 points can make a difference in a letter grade.) God has led me this far, I know He has a plan for me and will put me where He wants me in his timing. I saw a picture on Facebook tonight that inspired this post:

This is so true. I have been in more places and situations that I didn't understand than I can even remember. Every time, He has put me where I needed to be. I think I'm in one of those places now. All I can do is trust God and follow His lead.

She gone.

Well, not exactly. But I'm done with my tech class for this week. And I finally got messages from the last three people in the group and got them added to the blog. All's well that ends well. (Isn't that Shakespeare? I can't remember.)

Now, if I could just get into reading these blasted four chapters for my research class. We have a test over them tomorrow night and I'm still reading the first chapter. I just can't seem to concentrate on them. That's kinda been my problem this week. I can't seem to concentrate on reading the stuff I'm supposed to read. Almost anything else has had a better chance this week. Does this mean I'm hitting the wall already? I have way too much to do to hit the wall anytime soon.

Father, please help me to concentrate. You have led me this far. I know You won't let me fail.

The bookmark I chose for my research class textbook is rather fitting:
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
God has led me to this point. I am here for a reason. His reason. He has great things in store for me. I just have to trust and follow Him. By "great things" I do not mean monetary wealth. I simply mean that I know God plans to work through me. It is only by His grace and love that I am who I am. He has allowed me to make every mistake I have made for a reason. It is completely within God's power to take me out of the situations I have created and place me exactly where He wants me to be. But that isn't how He chooses to work in my life. He allows me to make mistakes and learn from them. Or not learn from them and repeat them. Instead of creating robots that worship Him at will, God created humans with the ability to make our own decisions and love and worship Him when we are ready. Often, when we have reached the end of our ropes and learned that our way isn't working. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be me and being there to pick up my broken pieces and put them back together to serve Your purposes.

How did I do it?

I was just thinking about when I was an undergrad. I went to college most days and worked most evenings, yet I was still able to get my homework done and not be tired all the time. Then I thought about it some more. I went straight from high school to college; I was only 22 when I graduated with my B.S. And my work schedule was much different. During my first two years of college, I worked on campus, often during long breaks between classes, or after my classes were finished. I also worked weekends as the hostess at a restaurant. Between the two jobs, I almost worked full-time hours while I was taking 12-13 hours per semester. After I transferred to complete the upper division classes, I was working one part-time job, mostly in the evenings, but I was easily able to work around my class schedule. I lived at home with my parents and sisters. I had very little financial responsibility.

My life as a grad student is quite different. I work a full-time job and have bills to pay. My work schedule is not very flexible. I'm a substance abuse counselor for an intensive outpatient treatment program. For the past year, I have worked three 10 hour days per week, ending at 9:00 pm (approximately, anyway!); my other 10 hours were spread out over two days. Since I have two evening classes this semester, I now only work two 10 hour days, spreading my other 20 hours over three days, two of which end early due to my classes. I still don't get home until after 9 pm three nights a week. (This week it was four nights because I chose to do something else instead of coming straight home Tuesday night.) It's pretty hard to get a lot done during the week, which means most of my reading and studying must happen on the weekends. I mean, I'm still reading the same article I started reading Tuesday for my web class.

Is there ever really a perfect time to continue your education? I seriously doubt it. After this semester, I'll decide if I'll be a full-time or part-time grad student next year. All summer, I kept thinking how much easier this would all be if I were teaching instead of counseling. I'm not so sure I was right. During the summer, yes. If I weren't working during the summer, then it would be easier to complete two classes per summer semester. Listening to my teacher classmates Monday and Tuesday night, I decided that they probably don't have much of an advantage over me, if any. And many of them are parents. I think they definitely have a harder time than I do getting everything done. The thought "If I would've just gone into education in the first place, I wouldn't be in this situation now" creeps into my head. One thing I've learned in the 23 years since I graduated high school is that I wasn't ready then. Now I'm ready. That wasn't my time; this is. God knew exactly what I was going to do before I was ever even born. Right now, I am exactly where He wants me to be. Or, at least, I'm working on it.