Wow!

I was so busy during my clinical student teaching semester, I didn't have much time for anything but school and work. When it was finished, I was exhausted. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in 7th grade Texas History and learned more than I can explain. I was there for less than one semester, but those were my kids. I finished up on April 30, which gave me time to prep for the PPR exam.

I went to Marshall to take my PPR exam on May 13. Even though Paul and I lived just minutes away, we had never seen Wiley College before. I felt pretty good about the exam when I left. I got my results that Friday. I needed a score of at least 240; I made a 265. I was so excited! In fact, I'm still a little excited about it. I graduated from Texas A&M University-Texarkana with my Master's in Curriculum & Instruction on May 16.

Shortly after graduation, I applied for my standard teacher certification. Since I took the Social Studies exam before the Generalist exam and I was in a social studies classroom, the university recommended me for certification in 4-8 Social Studies. When a payday works out so I can afford the application fee again, I'll apply for my 4-8 Generalist certification.

No job yet. So far, I've had three interviews: two with one school and one with another. I didn't get the first two and I should hear about the third in the next few days. I'm applying for everything for which I may be qualified (except math!) and praying about each application and interview. I am completely trusting God in my job search, just as I did in the pursuit of my degree. I know He has a job chosen for me. It's only mid-June; it's possible my job isn't even open yet. For the time being, I'm still working as a substance abuse counselor. Shortly after I went part-time to do my student teaching, I was notified that I'll be part-time until further notice. That really hurts financially, but God is in control. 

Wow!

Here I am, on the eve of my first day of student teaching. With work, school, and illness, I was a little overwhelmed last semester. God, of course, saw me through and I ended up with A's in both classes. As it worked out, the only course I have this semester is my Clinical Practicum. That's a really good thing. With being at the school from 7:45 am to 3:45 pm Monday through Friday, my full-time work schedule had to change. I found out last Tuesday (yes, December 30) that my proposed work schedule wasn't approved. For reasons of which I am still unclear, I can't work on Saturdays. Less than one week before my new schedule starts, I found out that, instead of going from 40 hours a week to 33 hours a week, I'll only be able to work 25 hours a week. With my job being our only income, we've barely been making it as is.

I have to admit, I'm really unsure what will happen. I've been praying about this semester for quite a while. Actually, since I realized that I wouldn't get an internship. I keep reminding myself of several things. It's only four months. I should be finished with my student teaching by the beginning of May. I still have my student loan coming. I've been praying about it, and Paul and I are planning to switch cell phone carriers to get a cheaper plan. When my loan comes in, we'll pay off/catch up on a few bills. God is in control. He hasn't brought me this far to let me fail now. If this weren't in His plan, God would have stopped me before now. I've prayed the entire way and followed the doors He has opened.

The fact that everything has not gone my way doesn't mean that I'm doing the wrong thing. I think it means that God wants me to wait for Him and trust in Him. If it were easy, I could do it myself. I wouldn't need God. I believe this is another instance where God is proving to me that I do need Him, every minute of every day. Philippians 4:13 has been very important to me throughout this journey. My mom posted Ezra 7:10 on my Facebook timeline today. Not familiar with that verse? I wasn't, either. Here's the post from my mom:

We had this in Sunday School this morning and I thought of you.
Ezra 7:10
For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.

God helped Ezra and He can help you. We studied the first 10 verses of chapter 7 this morning, but you could read the whole book. It's pretty short.

With the realization that I will only be a part-time employee came the realization that I will no longer have insurance. I don't know if I've mentioned it in a previous post, but I have medical conditions for which I take medications. They're pretty much affordable with insurance. Without insurance, I don't know. I can't even really afford the $35 and $50 copays to see my doctors right now. But God will provide. I guess I'll be seeking medical care at the free clinic with the others in my area who have no insurance, can't afford insurance, and can't afford to see a regular doctor. But I know God is in control. I'm sure some things in my life needed to change. I guess this is a good way for me to change them.

Please don't read this and think that I'm just sitting here waiting for God to do something and make everything okay. I know that isn't how He works. As I recently read somewhere, God isn't some magician that just makes what we need appear. He works in many ways. I'm praying about finding a weekend job. I don't really want to work on weekends, but if I need to for a few months, I will. I'm still praying about my husband finding a job. He's been looking for so long, we're both becoming frustrated with it.

This will be a super busy semester. I'll give updates as I can. And if you're reading this, please keep both my husband and me in your prayers.

Praying for Guidance

Even though school started Monday in Texas, I've been checking the job postings every day. I have applications in for aide positions at three or four schools. (I'm pretty sure it's four, but it could only be three.) Today, I got an email from one of the districts, letting me know that I've been selected as a candidate for the position. I was pretty excited when I started reading the email. Then I got to the part where it listed the approximate pay. Almost $20,000 a year less than I currently make. I knew it would be a big cut in pay, but I wasn't expecting it to be THAT much. I had already realized I'll probably need a second job if I take an aide position. I told Paul and my mom that when I started applying for them. I have to admit, my heart sank when I read those numbers. I'm not sure I can work two full-time jobs and take classes. And I'm almost positive I won't make enough at a part-time job. But a huge pay cut is better than not getting paid at all for my student teaching semester. I can already feel myself starting to stress over this situation. That's where prayer comes in.

I know God already has the answer. He already knows exactly how this entire school year will work out for me. And I know He isn't about to unveil His entire plan to me in the next few days. I have until 3:00 Wednesday to respond to request an interview. As I told Paul, going to the interview doesn't mean I'll be offered a job right then. In fact, I'm reasonably certain that won't happen. And if they do offer me the position, I don't have to accept it. That's why I'm praying for God's guidance. Should I accept the interview? Each interview I have gives me that much more interview experience. Should I start looking for a second job, just in case they do offer me the job? Will the other districts even contact me for an interview? One, way closer to my house, just closed the posting two days ago. Have they even started weeding through the applicants? I have so many questions. So many thoughts are running through my mind. And most of them are probably moot. God's got this. Obviously, I don't. I need to keep praying. I need to keep asking for wisdom and guidance in making these decisions. I need to wait. And listen. And trust God.

If you're reading this, please pray for me.

Bummer

Well, I had my interview Monday morning. As I parked, I saw a man walk out, but didn't really pay much attention to him. I realized through my peripheral vision that he got into the SUV that I had parked beside. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk toward the door when I heard my name. I turned to realize that the man in the SUV was a friend of my sister's. He has been a certified teacher for a few years. He had just interviewed for the same position for which I was going to interview. We wished each other luck and I headed for the building.

The interview was pretty informal. No real questions; the superintendent just asked me to tell them about myself. I think it went pretty well. The only possible problem the superintendent seemed to have was that I'm in an alternative certification program and don't yet have a certification. And inservice starts Thursday. With the interview over, all that was left was to wait for a call yesterday or today. As you may have already guessed, a call never came. I haven't checked with J yet to see if he got it, but I know I'm not the newest addition to Leary ISD.

I realized yesterday that I am not going to have an internship this year. I really started to get concerned about my student teaching in the spring semester. You don't get paid for student teaching. You do, however, get paid to work as an aide. According to the alternative cert program, you can work as an aide in your certification area/grade level and qualify to student teach. In essence, if I get a job as an aide in a 4th-8th grade classroom, I could do my student teaching in the spring and still get a paycheck. So I decided yesterday to start looking for aide positions in 4th-8th grade. I guess I should've been applying for those all along, too. I only found a few positions still posted. I found out yesterday that one was basically already closed; they won't be removing the posting until the person is officially hired at the school board meeting Thursday night. With very little in Texas, I decided to check Arkansas. I only found one posting for a district about half an hour from home. I emailed about it this morning, only to be informed this afternoon that it had already been filled. There are still two middle school aide positions posted. I may apply for them tonight; I may wait until Friday to see if the postings are removed after the board meeting tomorrow night.

Now I'm disappointed, frustrated, and bummed out. I know that God is in control of the entire situation. There is a reason why there are 18 people enrolled in the internship class and I am not one of them. There is a reason I am still at my current job. When I realized that so many other students obviously found teaching positions, I started to question myself. What's wrong with me? Why did so many other people get a job and I didn't? Ultimately, I know that it isn't that I'm defective. God apparently still has something for me to do where I am. He isn't ready for me to move on to a school yet. But I'm not giving up. He may still have an aide position for me later in the school year. Even if He doesn't and I have to quit my job to do my student teaching, I have to trust God. His plan is perfect. I am definitely not.

It's almost time.

I am both excited and disappointed that it's almost time for school to start.

Today made it official for me. I got the email with my financial aid award notification. It will soon be time to get the book voucher to buy my books for this semester. Maybe it's because I'm a nerd, but I actually enjoy going to the bookstore to get my books for the new semester. I can't explain the reason, but it makes me happy.

The disappointing part of back to school time this year is that I don't have a teaching job yet. I do still have a few chances. I applied for three positions at a district about an hour away from my house. It's definitely not the farthest I've driven for work. I drove about an hour and a half for over a year. The great part of it would be that I would get a raise of over $5,000 a year. I could definitely do it. And one of the positions is history! I also found another position today (social studies/history) that's closer to home at a much smaller district. I'm sure I wouldn't be getting a raise at that district, but it would be much easier on our car.

I haven't given up hope. God is in control. He has a plan for me. I remind myself, multiple times daily, that I only want the job He wants me to have. I am careful to pray for His will in both my and Paul's job searches. We both know that asking for specific jobs may get us employed, but if it isn't the job that God wants, we'll be miserable. I've been there before. I am trying to pray carefully. And I'm trying not to be too disappointed when I don't get a job I want. When it comes down to it, all I really want is what God wants for me.

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.

The Heat Is On . . .

To find a job. I interviewed at one school district a little over a month ago. It sounded so promising and it seemed like God had worked it out that I could make the interview without having to ask off work to do it. Then I waited. And waited. I've called the Deputy Superintendent that interviewed me a couple times and emailed him once. I emailed the Superintendent a week or so ago to make sure he knows I am seriously interested in working in that district. As of today, that district has only four positions still available. I'm only interested in one of those positions and it is one for which I've applied.

The district where I attended school from Kindergarten through 12th grade also has one position posted in which I am interested. My stepsister, who has already been hired by the same district this summer, suggested I write cover letters to the Principal and Superintendent, explaining who I am and the fact that I would love to teach in the district where I was educated. She also suggested I call them. I emailed my letters this afternoon. I looked at my schedule at work tomorrow; it looks like I have an opening where I will have time to try to call them. To be honest, even though I would prefer a social studies class to English (my second choice), I would love to work in my "home" district. For one thing, the pay is better. For another, my nephews are in school there. Part of me would like to move back there. And if I teach there, even better!

School starts on August 25. If I were hired by the first district I mentioned, it looks like my first day would be August 15. If I were hired by my "home" district, I think I would start August 14. Since Friday is August 1, I really feel like I need to know something by then so I can give a two week notice to my current job. However, I told my supervisor I'll let her know as soon as I know something. I don't know for sure that she understands that may be less than two weeks before I would start.

The past couple weeks have truly been in God's hands. I'm not sure I would've made it through intact without Him. Each day has been a struggle to maintain some level of sanity and do what I know He wants me to do that day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not totally in line. I'm getting closer, but I'm not there yet. There are a couple relatively simple things I haven't gotten back on track; well, one is much easier than the other. I am a child of God, the one who holds everything in His hands. He's got this. He picks up my broken pieces, even when I am the reason I'm broken.

Ahhh . . .

Another summer semester has come and gone. And I survived. I knew I would, of course. I'm doing what God wants, so He will help me succeed. He's got this. Grades aren't posted yet, but I'm pretty sure I got Bs in both classes. I'm really good with that.

No word on the employment front yet, but I'm not stressing about it, believe it or not. When I talked to the Deputy Superintendent last week, he told me that he had to talk to the Superintendent, who had been out. With the 4th of July holiday Friday, it was a short week for a lot of us. Some school district administration offices were closed all week; I'm sure this one was closed Friday. If I don't hear from him, I'm thinking I will call some time Wednesday. I want to check in and make sure he knows I'm still interested, yet not be a pest. I'll definitely post when I know something for sure.

Speaking of the 4th of July holiday, the long weekend was really relaxing for Paul and me. We pretty much did nothing. We stayed in our pajamas all weekend, chilled out, watched Netflix, napped, and spent time on our favorite websites.

My eyes look weird, but this is the only pic I took of us.

We watched the movie "Lawless" on Netflix.

I really am relieved to have a few weeks with no classes, just work. I can read what I want, now. Hmmm . . . What first?

It's the Last Summer

Well, at least my last summer session of grad school. And it's over half finished. I'm ready! I had intended to take only one course at a time in the summer. Due to financial aid requirements, I had to take six hours. Of course, the only two classes I needed were offered the same semester. And I really wanna graduate next May. With most of the work finished, I just have to finish these last two weeks. It'll all be over, for better or worse, on July 3.

I have officially been accepted into the Graduate Program for Initial Teacher Certification! I got my letter in the mail Friday, along with my Statement of Eligibility and confirmation that I'm taking the last class (except the internship classes) for that part of my degree. The only problem is that they accidentally put the wrong subject on my SOE. I emailed last night and was emailed the correct ones today. And just in time . . .

I have my first real interview for a teaching position at 9 am tomorrow! I am meeting with the Superintendent of Atlanta ISD. I was so nervous when I spoke to him this morning, I couldn't remember all the positions I applied for with that district. I have them all printed out and I'm psyching myself up for the interview. Translation: I keep praying about it and reminding myself that my other interviews have gone well and that I'll get one of these jobs if that's what God has planned. I really don't need to worry; God's got this!

At least all that's over.

So much has happened since my last post, but I don't really have time to catch you up at the moment. I finished the semester with a B in both classes. I was happy about that, believe it or not. I'm still working on watching the observation videos to officially be admitted to the ACP program. The month of May has really flown past. I planned to finish the videos and answer the questions before I took the TExES 4-8 Generalist. That didn't happen. I also didn't get to study for the blasted exam like I had planned. I took it yesterday. I studied and prayed all week. I prayed before the test and during the test. I actually feel pretty good about it; I know God didn't bring me this far, only to fail now. My mom always taught me to study like my grade depended on me and pray like it depended on God. If I don't get the required 240 on this test, it would be the first big standardized test on which I didn't score well enough the first time. I should have my results by 5 pm Friday. That means I'll be checking my account all week to see when my score is posted.

Last week, I took a course and am now a certified Youth Mental Health First Aid Instructor. (Paid for by my employer, thankfully!) After I updated my resume last night, I uploaded it to my profiles and decided to check out the latest job postings. I'm glad I did! I applied for a few new jobs. I already know I didn't get one job; thankfully, it was one I didn't really want.

Summer classes start Monday. I'm not positive that I'm ready, but at least the semester will be complete by the 4th of July.

I'm taking a little fun time tonight to watch a movie or two with Paul.

Is it Summer yet?

Spring semester has come and almost gone. I'm pretty dang happy about that. I think this may have been the toughest semester of my entire college career. I was sick for almost an entire month, which got me behind on assignments. (I'm still trying to catch up on a couple of those.) To be honest, I haven't really felt good since. Maybe it's just the added stress of being behind on my assignments, plus work and being human. My nephew, Alex, started playing soccer, too. I'm also trying to get my resume and cover letter perfected so I can apply for teaching positions for this fall. I found out that I won't be eligible for financial aid if I only take one class in the summer, like I had planned. Since the only classes I need are offered in Summer I, I'll have another 6 credit hour Summer semester. (At least it doesn't start until June!) I'll be taking the TExES 4-8 Generalist exam on May 30, so I have most of the month to prepare. I also need to finish my last 9.5 hours of observation videos and answer the obervation questions to be accepted into the Graduate Program for Initial Teacher Certification. No stress, right?

Here're the good parts. My research anthology and PowerPoint presentation for one class are due no later than April 28. Then there isn't much left for the end of the semester. In the module posted yesterday for my other class, the due date for the research paper was pushed back to May 7. (I got a little breathing room this weekend!) The only other thing I know of there is the final exam. Totally doable, especially since everything for the first class is due by May 2. I feel pretty confident that I will come out of both classes with a B, so not really damaging to the GPA. Summer I is only a few weeks long. After July 3, we're done and I'll have the rest of the summer to concentrate on applying for jobs and, hopefully, setting up my new classroom. Once I pass the 4-8 Generalist exam, it should be easier to find a job. It broadens my certification, which means I won't be limited to Social Studies only. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Paul was in a wreck Saturday night. The short version is that he was blinded by the bright lights of an oncoming vehicle. When he could finally see again, he didn't have time to stop the car from hitting the pickup in front of him. He wasn't badly injured, just "strained, sprained, and bruised", as the ER doctor said. Our insurance should cover the other guy's medical bills and his truck, but we didn't have full coverage, so it will only pay part of Paul's ER visit and nothing on our car. Now we're being shuttled around by my mom and stepdad or my baby sister and brother-n-law while we're figuring out how to get another car. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Even though Paul was sore, Easter was pretty good. My sister and brother-in-law picked us up so we could go to lunch with everybody. Alex told us "I asked Jesus to move into my heart and he did." The best Easter news since Jesus rose!

The best part of everything is GOD'S GOT THIS. He protected Paul and the other guy involved in the wreck. He already knows what car we'll get and how we'll pay for it. All we have to do is thank Him for what He's done and what He will do and have faith that He will provide in His perfect timing.

Here are the pictures I took of the car at the tow yard yesterday and of Paul's injuries Sunday.

Being sick is making me sick.

Before this week, I was sick for pretty much two straight weeks. I started feeling better this week, but still lacked energy and work gets in the way of me doing much homework some days. Needless to say, I got behind. When I started to work on everything today, I realized that I had not only missed deadlines and was submitting some things late, but there were a few things I no longer had access to, including a test. I knew the test had to be taken by end of day on February 22, but I got my dates mixed up; I thought today was the 22nd. It's not the end of the world, but definitely not how I want to operate in my classes.

I hope to get everything caught up and get ahead this week. Hopefully before Friday. Even though I missed almost an entire week of work, I'm taking off some much-needed time, starting Friday. I have to work next Wednesday and Thursday, then I'm taking off Friday again. That weekend, we're going to D/FW with Nancy and Alex; little man wants to see a hockey game. It took me a few hours to find something, but there's actually a minor league hockey team in North Richland Hills, the Lone Star Brahmas. On Sunday, we're going to Grapevine for a bit of fun at Legoland Discovery Center. If Alex knew, he'd be just as excited as Paul and I are. Maybe I'll post a few pictures of the weekend.

But next weekend, I have my last face to face class session this semester.

No matter what, I just have to trust God. He made me well and, because of Him, we're able to take a little vacation. Without His guidance, I wouldn't even be a student right now. He is in control and will help me with the rest of my work this semester. All I have to do is let Him help. Give it to God and don't take it back. He's got this.

Ummm . . .

Work was a chore this week. We were closed for the holiday on Monday, but Tuesday through Thursday seemed like Monday. There were even moments when I had to remind myself that today was Friday. Exhaustion set in. I've barely even thought about my homework. Tomorrow I'll have to buckle down, clarify my assignments in my mind, and get it done. I also need to find out what Dr. H really expects of our chapter presentations. My assignment partner and I haven't discussed it yet and I'm still uncertain how we're supposed to present the chapter. And it's due February 1.

Here's a little secret about me. I actually like being a student. I know it doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but I've always loved being in school. (Maybe that's one reason I've secretly wanted to be a teacher for so many years.)

My source of peace in all this is God. I know He has the solution to my exhaustion. He sees the whole big picture. In Him is where my true joy and happiness are found. Without Him, I would have and be nothing. Everything I am and everything I have are blessings from God. I had such a tough day Wednesday that I needed a creative outlet when I got home that night. Here's what I made:

I saw a Facebook post with this verse on it when I was home for lunch Wednesday afternoon. I've read it thousands of times in my life, but it really spoke to me Wednesday. God's plans for me are the reason I'm doing all this; why I have the job I have and why I'm in grad school. I'm planning to print this off, frame it, and hang it in my office. Some days, I really need to be reminded that everything I am experiencing fits into God's plan for my life. Thanks to Maggie for creating the great kit I used, Faith365: Choose Joy. You can find it in her store at My Memories or at MagsGraphics.

God's got this and He is in control.

Like I mentioned before, Paul has been sick since Halloween. The past couple days, he's been feeling better. We were even able to go to a restaurant Friday night to celebrate my sister Nancy's birthday on Saturday. He felt pretty good yesterday. This morning, he was nauseous and sick to his stomach and complained of being cold. (If you know Paul, you know that he's probably cold about as often as he's sick. He even wears flip flops out when it's cold.) Why did I tell you all that? To get to my point. But, before I get there, I need to rewind a little more.

Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and go to Starbucks to work on my chapter review for Human Growth and Development. I got my test corrections for the educational research class done, but I only wrote maybe another page on the chapter review. I just couldn't seem to focus on it. Anyway, since Paul woke up sick again, I decided to stay home today and just work on my homework here. Not going so well. I ate lunch, checked Facebook, downloaded some more of my digi scrapping supplies (I'm redoing the entire way I organize my kits. Long story, which would probably be even more boring than this one.). I was only going to do that while I ate lunch, but I decided to check my university email before I got started. Then, for some reason, I decided to check Pinterest. Two hours later, I realized I needed to start the chapter review. I tried to start it in the bedroom, but the overhead light just glared on the pages of the textbook. Polly and Court were running around and Paul kept pulling the blanket I was under. None of that was helping me focus. I decided to go to the living room. I packed up the laptop, my book, my phone, drinks, and snacks. Now, here I sit in the living room, still not able to focus on this chapter review, which is due Tuesday night. I'm worried about Paul; he was doing so much better, now he seems to be getting worse again. I absolutely cannot miss class again this week to take him back to the doctor. I'm not even sure if I'm doing the darned review the right way; Dr. R really didn't give us much instruction on what he wanted.

I had a little blow up last night. There are lots of things around the house that Paul has been saying he would take care of for the last year, since he was laid off his job. None of them have been done and it's only getting worse. To him, this stuff isn't a big deal. To me, it just adds chaos that I don't need. After I came home last night, we had already discussed watching Parkland and Grown Ups 2. One little thing happened as I was putting the Parkland disc in the blu-ray player and off I went. I even threatened to unregister (is that even a word?) for my Spring classes and quit my job so maybe I would have the time and energy to do the stuff myself. I don't really know why I said that. I'm not going to quit school. If I don't get my degree, I'm jumping right off God's path again. I know I won't quit my job; I like having a place to live and all the other things my pay allows us to afford. I calmed back down, almost as quickly as I had blown up. Then I had to apologize. I wonder if my blow up had anything to do with Paul feeling worse again today. I hadn't even thought of that until now.

As little as I am accomplishing today, I would usually go to Starbucks. Or, at the very least, go to the university. I just don't feel like getting ready to go out in public. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. I don't feel like showering and washing my hair. I don't feel like pulling out clothes and getting dressed. I don't feel like driving across town. All I really feel like doing is laying down, watching TV, and doing something that doesn't take much mental or physical effort. I guess this chapter review that I seem to be avoiding doesn't take much physical effort. Not much more than typing this blog post, clicking around Facebook, or downloading and organizing digital scrapbooking kits. The main problem with doing the review today seems to be my lack of mental energy. As I sit here typing this post in the living room, which shares a wall with our bedroom, I can faintly hear the TV. I'm the only one in here; the furbabies are in the bedroom with Paul. It's almost peaceful. I haven't had many peaceful times lately. It seems that my mind is always busy--reading a chapter or some research article, working on an assignment, thinking about what needs to be done, or thinking about work. My mind always seems to be going. And when I'm scattered like this, I forget to take my meds, which only makes the anxiety and depression and lack of energy worse. It's times like these when I think things like "No wonder God hasn't given us a child. When would I have time for him or her? How would I be able to take care of a child when I can barely get up early enough in the morning to get to work on time?" I know this is all temporary. I just need to pray more and have more faith and trust in God. He's already got all this figured out. I don't need to stress about my missing Test #1 in my research class. I don't need to worry about Paul like I have been. I don't need to worry about my own health like I do. God's got this and He is in control.

Ah! Spring! And Meet Noelle

My research has been going okay. I'll probably end up changing my question for my Research Proposal a little bit, but I think I have almost all the articles I need. (I need to go to the library at Texarkana College for the last two articles.) My research paper for Human Growth and Development is on hold until I finish my Chapter Review, which is due next Tuesday. God's got this, so I know I'll do fine.

Registration for the Spring semester started today for Grad students and Seniors at A&M - Texarkana. After talking with a nice gentleman in Financial Aid, I decided to register for two classes instead of three. It won't hurt my future financial aid and I'll be awarded aid based on the number of hours for which I register. I was looking at three classes, two education classes that my adviser had suggested, as well as a reading class she had suggested for next summer. The first seven weeks of this semester were pretty hectic. I am thankful that the tech class lasted only seven weeks. I'm hoping next semester will be a little less hectic. It will definitely be less hectic than if I had decided to take three classes.

While I was at Target last night, I found an Elf on the Shelf. There were only two left, both girls. Meet Noelle.

I have all kinds of mischievous and cute plans for her this holiday season! I'll be sure to post some of her adventures. 

One last thing. Paul almost never gets sick. He's been sick since Thursday. His fever keeps going up and down. He has a constant headache, apparent sinus problems, and his appetite is pretty much non-existent. Not that I want to be sick, but I almost wish it were me that's sick. At least I have medical insurance. I was able to add him to my vision and dental insurance, but medical was almost $300 out of each paycheck. We can't afford that big a hit twice a month. Any prayers for him would be greatly appreciated. 

One down, two to go!

The final for my web class was due Monday night. I was happy to turn it in with almost an hour left. I was even happier yesterday when I realized that I have an A for the class. {Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance!} Now, if I could only do so well in my other two classes. I felt sick all day Monday and had a migraine Tuesday and Wednesday. I even missed my Human Growth & Development class Tuesday night. I emailed Dr. R to see if I can take the test I missed after Tuesday's test. I guess I'll see how that goes. When Dr. L posted our grades for Tests 2 and 3, I asked if she had seen my Test 1. Of course, she hadn't. She said she would check at the Testing Center. I hope they find it; I can't stand to lose 100 points. Otherwise, I seem to be doing pretty well. I think I have a strong B in HG&D. I'm not too sure about the research class yet.

On a much more positive note, my migraine appears to be gone and is now just an annoying headache. I'm hoping it's gone soon.

It just strikes me that I seem to be doubting. God's already got this semester taken care of. Why should I doubt? If I do my part, why wouldn't God take care of me? Thanks for the eye opener, God!

As the deadline looms . . .

I have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. Today is Thursday. The last weekly assignments for my tech class are due by 11:30 Sunday evening and the final project is due Monday evening. I think I'll have a busy weekend. I'm debating whether I should go to the university - or Starbucks - Saturday and Sunday. I really wish I could take tomorrow off from work, but, alas, I didn't plan ahead. I'm considering checking the calendars for my other two classes and requesting some time off toward the end of the semester. I haven't really had a chance to start the research on any of my research projects. I've gathered some info, but I haven't had a chance to really read any of it yet. That's where God comes in. My mom always told me "Study like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God."

As I have said more than once on this blog, God is in control. If it weren't for His guidance, I wouldn't be in grad school right now. Once I felt like this was what He wanted me to do, I asked Him over and over again to make it happen if I was on the right path and stop me if I was wrong. Without God's help, I would have never made it through Summer II with a B average. (I really should've had an A in one class, but I have to let that go. Let's just say 25 points can make a difference in a letter grade.) God has led me this far, I know He has a plan for me and will put me where He wants me in his timing. I saw a picture on Facebook tonight that inspired this post:

This is so true. I have been in more places and situations that I didn't understand than I can even remember. Every time, He has put me where I needed to be. I think I'm in one of those places now. All I can do is trust God and follow His lead.

I love finding cool pictures on Facebook.

I just saw these two pictures on Facebook and wanted to share them.

I'm not sure why, exactly, but I really love all those "Keep Calm" pictures. And the other picture is what this blog is all about. I know God has a great plan for my life. I just have to follow Him.

Let there be books!

My textbooks came in today! It was kind of a funny story. On our way home for my lunch break, Paul and I had to stop at a red light to turn off the highway into our neighborhood. There was a UPS truck sitting across from us, waiting to turn the same direction. Paul says "I think you're about to get your books." I thought it was more likely that he would be going further down the street we turn off of, then coming back. Once we made the first turn off the highway, we made our second turn. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the UPS truck turn, too. Then we turned onto our street. Again, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the truck turn, too. We got out of the car and met the driver in the front yard. I was so happy I finally got my books, I had to take a picture. If you look closely, you'll see Bevo, the only one of our kitties that I named, checking out my human growth and development book.

I was somewhat relieved in class last night to hear that I wasn't the only one who didn't have my books yet. Now to read Chapter 2 for my human growth and development class and read the first five chapters for my research class. That has been worrying me a little. I looked; I'll be reading about 87 pages.

I really think this experience was another lesson from God. He was, again, telling me to wait when I prayed about it. It's just another reminder that He has this all worked out. I just have to trust and follow Him.

Thank you, God and amazon.com!

First thing this morning, payday, I ordered my textbooks - a grand total of $234.55. It could've been a little higher. I was considering spending another $3.99 for one business day shipping for my human growth and development book. I was going back and forth in my decision to pay for shipping or just use the free two day shipping. I mean, with Monday being a holiday, I wouldn't get it until some time Tuesday, which would be too late for me to read the chapter. I had pretty much decided to just go with the free shipping anyway. Then I realized something that made me realize I was making the right decision; Amazon offers a free seven day trial to download on the Kindle. I've ordered my books, which should be here Wednesday and Thursday (which actually confuses me since both are being sent from Amazon), and I still have access to read the chapter before the test Tuesday night. Now, if I can just get everything read and get the papers written on time. Like I knew all along, God's already got this all figured out. And He answered another prayer pretty quickly.

 

I saw this posted on the Facebook page God Bless You. I immediately thought about all the things I've shared on here this week. It just cemented how important it is to not only pray, but to stop and listen so I can hear when He speaks. I can't remember where in the Bible it is, but I seem to remember a verse that says that the wise man remains silent and the fool speaks. I think it was somewhere in Proverbs. It is very good advice, no matter where I read it. One thing I have learned is that every thought that enters my mind doesn't have to exit my mouth. I sometimes still speak before I think, but not nearly as often as I did when I was younger. For a long time, I didn't really have a filter. I've also learned that sometimes, even when what I have to say is true and beneficial, I don't have to be the one to say it. Sometimes it's better to let someone else figure it out for him/herself. Sometimes people need to think of something themselves to be able to accept it.