Waiting for God's Timing

Sometimes, just sometimes, no news is good news, Other times, it's just frustrating. I'm still applying for teaching positions, but no job yet. The most recent interview was yesterday in a small town near which Paul and I lived when we were first married. I pray when I apply for a position. I pray prior to an interview. I ask God to give me the words He wants me to say during the interview and I ask for wisdom for the administrators making the decision. I know my life is in His hands. He already has a position chosen for me. I feel disappointed and, sometimes, frustrated when I don't get the job, but I don't want a job God doesn't want for me. I've learned that the hard way; I was miserable almost the entire time I worked for that company. There is a reason I still have the job I have. Maybe God isn't finished with me there quite yet.

It's altogether possible that the position God has planned for me isn't even available yet. Meanwhile, I'm debating whether I should apply for a specific position. It isn't a class I would want to teach long-term, but I could definitely do it to get my foot in the door and become an experienced teacher. There is still one position for which the principal planned to recommend me. However, she may not be able to fill the position due to a circumstance that I do not completely understand. I continue to pray, apply, and wait.

One of the verses that comes to my mind often as I pray, apply, and wait is Jeremiah 29:11 (HCSB) "For I know the plans I have for you"--this is the LORD's declaration--"plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

I am thankful for many things in my job search. First, I'm thankful for Paul and his support. I'm thankful for my mom and her encouragement. I'm thankful for all my Facebook friends and family members who are so supportive and who tell me about jobs. I try my best to make sure to thank each of them. I hope they realize how sincere I am and how much I appreciate them.

Soon enough, I'll post on here that God has led me to the position He has had planned for me the entire time.

Wow!

Here I am, on the eve of my first day of student teaching. With work, school, and illness, I was a little overwhelmed last semester. God, of course, saw me through and I ended up with A's in both classes. As it worked out, the only course I have this semester is my Clinical Practicum. That's a really good thing. With being at the school from 7:45 am to 3:45 pm Monday through Friday, my full-time work schedule had to change. I found out last Tuesday (yes, December 30) that my proposed work schedule wasn't approved. For reasons of which I am still unclear, I can't work on Saturdays. Less than one week before my new schedule starts, I found out that, instead of going from 40 hours a week to 33 hours a week, I'll only be able to work 25 hours a week. With my job being our only income, we've barely been making it as is.

I have to admit, I'm really unsure what will happen. I've been praying about this semester for quite a while. Actually, since I realized that I wouldn't get an internship. I keep reminding myself of several things. It's only four months. I should be finished with my student teaching by the beginning of May. I still have my student loan coming. I've been praying about it, and Paul and I are planning to switch cell phone carriers to get a cheaper plan. When my loan comes in, we'll pay off/catch up on a few bills. God is in control. He hasn't brought me this far to let me fail now. If this weren't in His plan, God would have stopped me before now. I've prayed the entire way and followed the doors He has opened.

The fact that everything has not gone my way doesn't mean that I'm doing the wrong thing. I think it means that God wants me to wait for Him and trust in Him. If it were easy, I could do it myself. I wouldn't need God. I believe this is another instance where God is proving to me that I do need Him, every minute of every day. Philippians 4:13 has been very important to me throughout this journey. My mom posted Ezra 7:10 on my Facebook timeline today. Not familiar with that verse? I wasn't, either. Here's the post from my mom:

We had this in Sunday School this morning and I thought of you.
Ezra 7:10
For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.

God helped Ezra and He can help you. We studied the first 10 verses of chapter 7 this morning, but you could read the whole book. It's pretty short.

With the realization that I will only be a part-time employee came the realization that I will no longer have insurance. I don't know if I've mentioned it in a previous post, but I have medical conditions for which I take medications. They're pretty much affordable with insurance. Without insurance, I don't know. I can't even really afford the $35 and $50 copays to see my doctors right now. But God will provide. I guess I'll be seeking medical care at the free clinic with the others in my area who have no insurance, can't afford insurance, and can't afford to see a regular doctor. But I know God is in control. I'm sure some things in my life needed to change. I guess this is a good way for me to change them.

Please don't read this and think that I'm just sitting here waiting for God to do something and make everything okay. I know that isn't how He works. As I recently read somewhere, God isn't some magician that just makes what we need appear. He works in many ways. I'm praying about finding a weekend job. I don't really want to work on weekends, but if I need to for a few months, I will. I'm still praying about my husband finding a job. He's been looking for so long, we're both becoming frustrated with it.

This will be a super busy semester. I'll give updates as I can. And if you're reading this, please keep both my husband and me in your prayers.

Bummer

Well, I had my interview Monday morning. As I parked, I saw a man walk out, but didn't really pay much attention to him. I realized through my peripheral vision that he got into the SUV that I had parked beside. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk toward the door when I heard my name. I turned to realize that the man in the SUV was a friend of my sister's. He has been a certified teacher for a few years. He had just interviewed for the same position for which I was going to interview. We wished each other luck and I headed for the building.

The interview was pretty informal. No real questions; the superintendent just asked me to tell them about myself. I think it went pretty well. The only possible problem the superintendent seemed to have was that I'm in an alternative certification program and don't yet have a certification. And inservice starts Thursday. With the interview over, all that was left was to wait for a call yesterday or today. As you may have already guessed, a call never came. I haven't checked with J yet to see if he got it, but I know I'm not the newest addition to Leary ISD.

I realized yesterday that I am not going to have an internship this year. I really started to get concerned about my student teaching in the spring semester. You don't get paid for student teaching. You do, however, get paid to work as an aide. According to the alternative cert program, you can work as an aide in your certification area/grade level and qualify to student teach. In essence, if I get a job as an aide in a 4th-8th grade classroom, I could do my student teaching in the spring and still get a paycheck. So I decided yesterday to start looking for aide positions in 4th-8th grade. I guess I should've been applying for those all along, too. I only found a few positions still posted. I found out yesterday that one was basically already closed; they won't be removing the posting until the person is officially hired at the school board meeting Thursday night. With very little in Texas, I decided to check Arkansas. I only found one posting for a district about half an hour from home. I emailed about it this morning, only to be informed this afternoon that it had already been filled. There are still two middle school aide positions posted. I may apply for them tonight; I may wait until Friday to see if the postings are removed after the board meeting tomorrow night.

Now I'm disappointed, frustrated, and bummed out. I know that God is in control of the entire situation. There is a reason why there are 18 people enrolled in the internship class and I am not one of them. There is a reason I am still at my current job. When I realized that so many other students obviously found teaching positions, I started to question myself. What's wrong with me? Why did so many other people get a job and I didn't? Ultimately, I know that it isn't that I'm defective. God apparently still has something for me to do where I am. He isn't ready for me to move on to a school yet. But I'm not giving up. He may still have an aide position for me later in the school year. Even if He doesn't and I have to quit my job to do my student teaching, I have to trust God. His plan is perfect. I am definitely not.

Hopeful

While I was getting ready for work this morning, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I let it go to voice mail. While Paul was driving me to work, I checked my message. It was the principal of the smaller school district I mentioned in yesterday's post. She said she was scheduling interviews for Monday. I was a little early to work, so I had plenty of time before seeing my first client. I called her as soon as I got my coffee started. My interview is at 10:00 Monday morning. I'll see my client, then leave for my interview. I'm really pretty excited about it.

But I'm still praying. Scheduling an interview doesn't mean I'll get the job. Honestly, I hope I get it. It would only be about half an hour from my house. I think such a small district would give me a great start to my career in education. But that doesn't mean it's God's plan. I only really want the job that God wants me to have. If this is it, great! If not, He will help me overcome my disappointment and guide me to the right job at the right time.

Like most schools in the area, teachers start work for the school year Thursday, 8/14/14. Since my interview is Monday, I'm sure they will be making a decision shortly thereafter. It amazes me that I may interview for a job and start work the same week. The only times that has happened, I already had the job when I applied.

If you're reading this post before my interview, please say a prayer for me. I'll let ya know what happens next week.

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.

The Heat Is On . . .

To find a job. I interviewed at one school district a little over a month ago. It sounded so promising and it seemed like God had worked it out that I could make the interview without having to ask off work to do it. Then I waited. And waited. I've called the Deputy Superintendent that interviewed me a couple times and emailed him once. I emailed the Superintendent a week or so ago to make sure he knows I am seriously interested in working in that district. As of today, that district has only four positions still available. I'm only interested in one of those positions and it is one for which I've applied.

The district where I attended school from Kindergarten through 12th grade also has one position posted in which I am interested. My stepsister, who has already been hired by the same district this summer, suggested I write cover letters to the Principal and Superintendent, explaining who I am and the fact that I would love to teach in the district where I was educated. She also suggested I call them. I emailed my letters this afternoon. I looked at my schedule at work tomorrow; it looks like I have an opening where I will have time to try to call them. To be honest, even though I would prefer a social studies class to English (my second choice), I would love to work in my "home" district. For one thing, the pay is better. For another, my nephews are in school there. Part of me would like to move back there. And if I teach there, even better!

School starts on August 25. If I were hired by the first district I mentioned, it looks like my first day would be August 15. If I were hired by my "home" district, I think I would start August 14. Since Friday is August 1, I really feel like I need to know something by then so I can give a two week notice to my current job. However, I told my supervisor I'll let her know as soon as I know something. I don't know for sure that she understands that may be less than two weeks before I would start.

The past couple weeks have truly been in God's hands. I'm not sure I would've made it through intact without Him. Each day has been a struggle to maintain some level of sanity and do what I know He wants me to do that day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not totally in line. I'm getting closer, but I'm not there yet. There are a couple relatively simple things I haven't gotten back on track; well, one is much easier than the other. I am a child of God, the one who holds everything in His hands. He's got this. He picks up my broken pieces, even when I am the reason I'm broken.

Summer!

I am totally enjoying not having homework, but I keep having the feeling that there's something I'm forgetting to do. I checked my grades earlier in the week. I made a B in the reading class and a C in the assessment class. I was a little disappointed in the C, but I'm okay with it. For the sheer number of assignments required and the amount of time I had between work, life, and homework, I'm satisfied.

Still no real news on the job front. I decided not to call the Deputy Superintendent this week. I don't wanna be a pest and talk myself out of a job. I check the sites at least twice a week. (Usually more like four or five times a week.) When I checked the Region 8 site today, I saw that two or three of the positions for which I was being considered were no longer listed. My heart skipped a beat. I kept looking down the list and saw four new postings. Two of them are SOCIAL STUDIES!!! I tried to call the Deputy Superintendent after I applied for them (actually all four positions), but I think the admin office may be closed on Fridays. Instead, I sent him an email to confirm that one of the Social Studies positions would be my preference. If I don't hear anything next week, I think I'll call at the end of the week. I'm praying for God's will, but I really want one of those Social Studies positions.

Since I now have time to read what I want, I decided to go to the library. I haven't been since I got my library card. What did I get? John Grisham's The Associate. It was the only Grisham legal thriller I don't already have. I'm thinking I'll check out Lord of the Rings or Catcher in the Rye next time.

Is it Summer yet?

Spring semester has come and almost gone. I'm pretty dang happy about that. I think this may have been the toughest semester of my entire college career. I was sick for almost an entire month, which got me behind on assignments. (I'm still trying to catch up on a couple of those.) To be honest, I haven't really felt good since. Maybe it's just the added stress of being behind on my assignments, plus work and being human. My nephew, Alex, started playing soccer, too. I'm also trying to get my resume and cover letter perfected so I can apply for teaching positions for this fall. I found out that I won't be eligible for financial aid if I only take one class in the summer, like I had planned. Since the only classes I need are offered in Summer I, I'll have another 6 credit hour Summer semester. (At least it doesn't start until June!) I'll be taking the TExES 4-8 Generalist exam on May 30, so I have most of the month to prepare. I also need to finish my last 9.5 hours of observation videos and answer the obervation questions to be accepted into the Graduate Program for Initial Teacher Certification. No stress, right?

Here're the good parts. My research anthology and PowerPoint presentation for one class are due no later than April 28. Then there isn't much left for the end of the semester. In the module posted yesterday for my other class, the due date for the research paper was pushed back to May 7. (I got a little breathing room this weekend!) The only other thing I know of there is the final exam. Totally doable, especially since everything for the first class is due by May 2. I feel pretty confident that I will come out of both classes with a B, so not really damaging to the GPA. Summer I is only a few weeks long. After July 3, we're done and I'll have the rest of the summer to concentrate on applying for jobs and, hopefully, setting up my new classroom. Once I pass the 4-8 Generalist exam, it should be easier to find a job. It broadens my certification, which means I won't be limited to Social Studies only. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Paul was in a wreck Saturday night. The short version is that he was blinded by the bright lights of an oncoming vehicle. When he could finally see again, he didn't have time to stop the car from hitting the pickup in front of him. He wasn't badly injured, just "strained, sprained, and bruised", as the ER doctor said. Our insurance should cover the other guy's medical bills and his truck, but we didn't have full coverage, so it will only pay part of Paul's ER visit and nothing on our car. Now we're being shuttled around by my mom and stepdad or my baby sister and brother-n-law while we're figuring out how to get another car. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Even though Paul was sore, Easter was pretty good. My sister and brother-in-law picked us up so we could go to lunch with everybody. Alex told us "I asked Jesus to move into my heart and he did." The best Easter news since Jesus rose!

The best part of everything is GOD'S GOT THIS. He protected Paul and the other guy involved in the wreck. He already knows what car we'll get and how we'll pay for it. All we have to do is thank Him for what He's done and what He will do and have faith that He will provide in His perfect timing.

Here are the pictures I took of the car at the tow yard yesterday and of Paul's injuries Sunday.

As the deadline looms . . .

I have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. Today is Thursday. The last weekly assignments for my tech class are due by 11:30 Sunday evening and the final project is due Monday evening. I think I'll have a busy weekend. I'm debating whether I should go to the university - or Starbucks - Saturday and Sunday. I really wish I could take tomorrow off from work, but, alas, I didn't plan ahead. I'm considering checking the calendars for my other two classes and requesting some time off toward the end of the semester. I haven't really had a chance to start the research on any of my research projects. I've gathered some info, but I haven't had a chance to really read any of it yet. That's where God comes in. My mom always told me "Study like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God."

As I have said more than once on this blog, God is in control. If it weren't for His guidance, I wouldn't be in grad school right now. Once I felt like this was what He wanted me to do, I asked Him over and over again to make it happen if I was on the right path and stop me if I was wrong. Without God's help, I would have never made it through Summer II with a B average. (I really should've had an A in one class, but I have to let that go. Let's just say 25 points can make a difference in a letter grade.) God has led me this far, I know He has a plan for me and will put me where He wants me in his timing. I saw a picture on Facebook tonight that inspired this post:

This is so true. I have been in more places and situations that I didn't understand than I can even remember. Every time, He has put me where I needed to be. I think I'm in one of those places now. All I can do is trust God and follow His lead.

I think I have an answer . . .

I applied for every social studies or history position that I saw listed for grades 4-8 (that's the TExES exam I took-and passed-this year), but never even got a call for an interview. I did have an interview at a job fair, but wasn't called back for the second interview. Anyway, I got an email from the university earlier in the month stating that, if I want to do student teaching in the Spring, I have to submit the application before October 1. (Now, if you're counting, today is Sunday and October 1 is Tuesday.) I started the application and read a statement that said applicants must have been admitted to the Initial Teacher Certification program. There's a problem there. I completed my admissions application in, like, March, but I haven't completed all the other requirements. I still have 10 hours of videos to watch for my observations and write up a paper, answering specific questions, about my observation experience. A few minutes after 2:00 pm, I read that statement and quickly calculated in my head that there is not enough time for that.

I've been wondering about student teaching. The main problem is that it is unpaid. I can't possibly continue to work my current job and do student teaching, which would mean that I would have to quit my job. I've been praying about this for a while. When I didn't get a teaching position, I started praying even harder about what to do this Spring. I think God just gave me the answer. Maybe I'm not supposed to teach until next school year. I'm taking the 4-8 generalist TExES next year, which will broaden my area of teaching, possibly giving me a better chance at getting a position for Fall. It also occurs to me that it may be better to do student teaching, if necessary, toward the end of my education. Although it wasn't the way I really wanted or expected, God, in His infinite wisdom, has answered another prayer. I think He's trying to teach me to listen and wait for His timing. I'm hoping I learn. Soon.