Why do we run?

You've seen my picture. You've probably surmised I am not a runner. Not physically, anyway. As the title and description of my blog told you, though, I have spiritually run for years. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.

A friend on Facebook is a youth minister. He asked his friends to complete the sentence "I stopped running from God when...." When I started typing my answer in the comments, Matthew 11:28-30 came to mind. Can't remember exactly what those verses say? Well, I couldn't remember the exact reference, but I know how to look it up. This is a quote from Jesus: "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (HCSB)

As I shared in my own Facebook status update, I have been a Christian since age 15 and stopped running when I was 42. I took some breaks during those 27 years, but, being completely honest, I ran, in some way, for the majority of them. I have read this passage from Matthew many, many times in various versions from King James to Contemporary English. Knowing that Jesus is offering me rest, why would I run? Why would any of us run?

I guess these verses never really spoke to me until now. Now I need to figure out why I ran for so long. I believe that figuring out the reason we did something is a big step in keeping ourselves from repeating the same mistakes. I guess I have some thinking to do.

If you haven't watched it, keep scrolling and watch the video of Tenth Avenue North's song "By Your Side".

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.

I just don't wanna . . .

I am tired. I am sleepy. It's 11:30 pm. I haven't even started reading the chapter for Human Growth and Development tomorrow night. And right now, I just don't wanna read it.

Every semester, since my second ever semester in college, I inevitably have at least one chapter that I just don't have time to read. I think this may be one of those times. I don't even know how long the chapter is; I haven't really had time to look at it until now.

On the positive side, I have a head start on my technology class. I already have an account on del.icio.us account and a flickr account. I just need to add some stuff to them for this week. Those aren't the only assignments, of course, but I figure already having the accounts and knowing a little about using the sites puts me ahead of where I'd be otherwise.

And be on the lookout! I found the perfect digital scrapbook kit to make a photo for my blog header. The kit is called Whale of a Tale by Scraps N Pieces. I'm hoping to "do it up", as my scrap friend Menda says, tomorrow and get it posted.

I am so glad that God is more faithful than I am. It was nice to actually get up and go to church Sunday. I'm planning to go visit a different church this Sunday. A coworker says it's great. It sounds like the type of church I would love to be a part of. I just need to keep my butt in gear and get going. I know everything else in my life is so much more enjoyable when I'm doing everything I know God wants me to do. I'm on the right path. I'm leaving the belly of the big fish, but I'm not quite strolling on the beach yet. But at least I can see the shore now!

Priorities, priorities, priorities

Keeping my priorities straight is something I've always struggled with. Apparently, nothing has changed. I intended to get all my homework done as early as I could last week. It didn't quite happen. I was doing well Friday night; I got the articles read and the videos watched for my web class. With a long weekend ahead, I was hoping to get everything knocked out for the web class and human growth and development by Sunday night. Then Saturday happened. I slept. I woke up. I ate. I went back to sleep within an hour. Sleeping was how I spent most of Saturday. Sunday wasn't much better. I finally got around to writing the paper for the web class; it was due at 11:30 pm and I submitted it before 8:30 pm. Then I started reading the chapter that I was supposed to write 5-8 pages on for human growth and development. I don't remember getting very far. Monday was Labor Day, so I really didn't want to do homework. But since I was so lazy all weekend, I knew it was inevitable. I tried reading the chapter for the paper. (I don't think I was even halfway through it when I fell asleep). Then I decided to read it page by page and write what I got from that page. After a few pages, I didn't even have one whole page (doubled spaced). When I realized it was starting to get late and I still didn't have much done, I decided to read the chapter from the textbook so I'd be prepared for the test. By the time I got the chapter read, it was around midnight. Since today was a class day, I had to be at work at 8 am. I decided it wasn't worth the 25 points to stay up late enough to write that paper. At least I think I did well on the test!

This week will be better. I think. The professor of my web class inadvertently posted the wrong assignments. That kinda threw my plan off. He just corrected it, so now I can get started. Apparently each semester will be a lesson in priorities. Which assignments need to be done first? Which ones can wait? Should I read a chapter or do an assignment? When do I work on my research? All these questions (and more) will be answered.

Here's what I do know. God must be my number one priority. Again, I struggle with that. I get distracted. I know He is the most important; without Him, nothing else matters. Now, if I could only keep Him at #1. Just the small, everyday things is where that should start:  Prayer, reading the Bible. Unfortunately, I often fail. I pray, but not always in the ways I should. My Bible reading has fallen behind. And, after living in this house for over two years, we still haven't found a church. I am so thankful that God is always faithful and that His love never fails.