Waiting for God's Timing

Sometimes, just sometimes, no news is good news, Other times, it's just frustrating. I'm still applying for teaching positions, but no job yet. The most recent interview was yesterday in a small town near which Paul and I lived when we were first married. I pray when I apply for a position. I pray prior to an interview. I ask God to give me the words He wants me to say during the interview and I ask for wisdom for the administrators making the decision. I know my life is in His hands. He already has a position chosen for me. I feel disappointed and, sometimes, frustrated when I don't get the job, but I don't want a job God doesn't want for me. I've learned that the hard way; I was miserable almost the entire time I worked for that company. There is a reason I still have the job I have. Maybe God isn't finished with me there quite yet.

It's altogether possible that the position God has planned for me isn't even available yet. Meanwhile, I'm debating whether I should apply for a specific position. It isn't a class I would want to teach long-term, but I could definitely do it to get my foot in the door and become an experienced teacher. There is still one position for which the principal planned to recommend me. However, she may not be able to fill the position due to a circumstance that I do not completely understand. I continue to pray, apply, and wait.

One of the verses that comes to my mind often as I pray, apply, and wait is Jeremiah 29:11 (HCSB) "For I know the plans I have for you"--this is the LORD's declaration--"plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

I am thankful for many things in my job search. First, I'm thankful for Paul and his support. I'm thankful for my mom and her encouragement. I'm thankful for all my Facebook friends and family members who are so supportive and who tell me about jobs. I try my best to make sure to thank each of them. I hope they realize how sincere I am and how much I appreciate them.

Soon enough, I'll post on here that God has led me to the position He has had planned for me the entire time.

Wow!

Here I am, on the eve of my first day of student teaching. With work, school, and illness, I was a little overwhelmed last semester. God, of course, saw me through and I ended up with A's in both classes. As it worked out, the only course I have this semester is my Clinical Practicum. That's a really good thing. With being at the school from 7:45 am to 3:45 pm Monday through Friday, my full-time work schedule had to change. I found out last Tuesday (yes, December 30) that my proposed work schedule wasn't approved. For reasons of which I am still unclear, I can't work on Saturdays. Less than one week before my new schedule starts, I found out that, instead of going from 40 hours a week to 33 hours a week, I'll only be able to work 25 hours a week. With my job being our only income, we've barely been making it as is.

I have to admit, I'm really unsure what will happen. I've been praying about this semester for quite a while. Actually, since I realized that I wouldn't get an internship. I keep reminding myself of several things. It's only four months. I should be finished with my student teaching by the beginning of May. I still have my student loan coming. I've been praying about it, and Paul and I are planning to switch cell phone carriers to get a cheaper plan. When my loan comes in, we'll pay off/catch up on a few bills. God is in control. He hasn't brought me this far to let me fail now. If this weren't in His plan, God would have stopped me before now. I've prayed the entire way and followed the doors He has opened.

The fact that everything has not gone my way doesn't mean that I'm doing the wrong thing. I think it means that God wants me to wait for Him and trust in Him. If it were easy, I could do it myself. I wouldn't need God. I believe this is another instance where God is proving to me that I do need Him, every minute of every day. Philippians 4:13 has been very important to me throughout this journey. My mom posted Ezra 7:10 on my Facebook timeline today. Not familiar with that verse? I wasn't, either. Here's the post from my mom:

We had this in Sunday School this morning and I thought of you.
Ezra 7:10
For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.

God helped Ezra and He can help you. We studied the first 10 verses of chapter 7 this morning, but you could read the whole book. It's pretty short.

With the realization that I will only be a part-time employee came the realization that I will no longer have insurance. I don't know if I've mentioned it in a previous post, but I have medical conditions for which I take medications. They're pretty much affordable with insurance. Without insurance, I don't know. I can't even really afford the $35 and $50 copays to see my doctors right now. But God will provide. I guess I'll be seeking medical care at the free clinic with the others in my area who have no insurance, can't afford insurance, and can't afford to see a regular doctor. But I know God is in control. I'm sure some things in my life needed to change. I guess this is a good way for me to change them.

Please don't read this and think that I'm just sitting here waiting for God to do something and make everything okay. I know that isn't how He works. As I recently read somewhere, God isn't some magician that just makes what we need appear. He works in many ways. I'm praying about finding a weekend job. I don't really want to work on weekends, but if I need to for a few months, I will. I'm still praying about my husband finding a job. He's been looking for so long, we're both becoming frustrated with it.

This will be a super busy semester. I'll give updates as I can. And if you're reading this, please keep both my husband and me in your prayers.

Why do we run?

You've seen my picture. You've probably surmised I am not a runner. Not physically, anyway. As the title and description of my blog told you, though, I have spiritually run for years. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.

A friend on Facebook is a youth minister. He asked his friends to complete the sentence "I stopped running from God when...." When I started typing my answer in the comments, Matthew 11:28-30 came to mind. Can't remember exactly what those verses say? Well, I couldn't remember the exact reference, but I know how to look it up. This is a quote from Jesus: "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (HCSB)

As I shared in my own Facebook status update, I have been a Christian since age 15 and stopped running when I was 42. I took some breaks during those 27 years, but, being completely honest, I ran, in some way, for the majority of them. I have read this passage from Matthew many, many times in various versions from King James to Contemporary English. Knowing that Jesus is offering me rest, why would I run? Why would any of us run?

I guess these verses never really spoke to me until now. Now I need to figure out why I ran for so long. I believe that figuring out the reason we did something is a big step in keeping ourselves from repeating the same mistakes. I guess I have some thinking to do.

If you haven't watched it, keep scrolling and watch the video of Tenth Avenue North's song "By Your Side".

Praying for Guidance

Even though school started Monday in Texas, I've been checking the job postings every day. I have applications in for aide positions at three or four schools. (I'm pretty sure it's four, but it could only be three.) Today, I got an email from one of the districts, letting me know that I've been selected as a candidate for the position. I was pretty excited when I started reading the email. Then I got to the part where it listed the approximate pay. Almost $20,000 a year less than I currently make. I knew it would be a big cut in pay, but I wasn't expecting it to be THAT much. I had already realized I'll probably need a second job if I take an aide position. I told Paul and my mom that when I started applying for them. I have to admit, my heart sank when I read those numbers. I'm not sure I can work two full-time jobs and take classes. And I'm almost positive I won't make enough at a part-time job. But a huge pay cut is better than not getting paid at all for my student teaching semester. I can already feel myself starting to stress over this situation. That's where prayer comes in.

I know God already has the answer. He already knows exactly how this entire school year will work out for me. And I know He isn't about to unveil His entire plan to me in the next few days. I have until 3:00 Wednesday to respond to request an interview. As I told Paul, going to the interview doesn't mean I'll be offered a job right then. In fact, I'm reasonably certain that won't happen. And if they do offer me the position, I don't have to accept it. That's why I'm praying for God's guidance. Should I accept the interview? Each interview I have gives me that much more interview experience. Should I start looking for a second job, just in case they do offer me the job? Will the other districts even contact me for an interview? One, way closer to my house, just closed the posting two days ago. Have they even started weeding through the applicants? I have so many questions. So many thoughts are running through my mind. And most of them are probably moot. God's got this. Obviously, I don't. I need to keep praying. I need to keep asking for wisdom and guidance in making these decisions. I need to wait. And listen. And trust God.

If you're reading this, please pray for me.

Bummer

Well, I had my interview Monday morning. As I parked, I saw a man walk out, but didn't really pay much attention to him. I realized through my peripheral vision that he got into the SUV that I had parked beside. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk toward the door when I heard my name. I turned to realize that the man in the SUV was a friend of my sister's. He has been a certified teacher for a few years. He had just interviewed for the same position for which I was going to interview. We wished each other luck and I headed for the building.

The interview was pretty informal. No real questions; the superintendent just asked me to tell them about myself. I think it went pretty well. The only possible problem the superintendent seemed to have was that I'm in an alternative certification program and don't yet have a certification. And inservice starts Thursday. With the interview over, all that was left was to wait for a call yesterday or today. As you may have already guessed, a call never came. I haven't checked with J yet to see if he got it, but I know I'm not the newest addition to Leary ISD.

I realized yesterday that I am not going to have an internship this year. I really started to get concerned about my student teaching in the spring semester. You don't get paid for student teaching. You do, however, get paid to work as an aide. According to the alternative cert program, you can work as an aide in your certification area/grade level and qualify to student teach. In essence, if I get a job as an aide in a 4th-8th grade classroom, I could do my student teaching in the spring and still get a paycheck. So I decided yesterday to start looking for aide positions in 4th-8th grade. I guess I should've been applying for those all along, too. I only found a few positions still posted. I found out yesterday that one was basically already closed; they won't be removing the posting until the person is officially hired at the school board meeting Thursday night. With very little in Texas, I decided to check Arkansas. I only found one posting for a district about half an hour from home. I emailed about it this morning, only to be informed this afternoon that it had already been filled. There are still two middle school aide positions posted. I may apply for them tonight; I may wait until Friday to see if the postings are removed after the board meeting tomorrow night.

Now I'm disappointed, frustrated, and bummed out. I know that God is in control of the entire situation. There is a reason why there are 18 people enrolled in the internship class and I am not one of them. There is a reason I am still at my current job. When I realized that so many other students obviously found teaching positions, I started to question myself. What's wrong with me? Why did so many other people get a job and I didn't? Ultimately, I know that it isn't that I'm defective. God apparently still has something for me to do where I am. He isn't ready for me to move on to a school yet. But I'm not giving up. He may still have an aide position for me later in the school year. Even if He doesn't and I have to quit my job to do my student teaching, I have to trust God. His plan is perfect. I am definitely not.

Hopeful

While I was getting ready for work this morning, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I let it go to voice mail. While Paul was driving me to work, I checked my message. It was the principal of the smaller school district I mentioned in yesterday's post. She said she was scheduling interviews for Monday. I was a little early to work, so I had plenty of time before seeing my first client. I called her as soon as I got my coffee started. My interview is at 10:00 Monday morning. I'll see my client, then leave for my interview. I'm really pretty excited about it.

But I'm still praying. Scheduling an interview doesn't mean I'll get the job. Honestly, I hope I get it. It would only be about half an hour from my house. I think such a small district would give me a great start to my career in education. But that doesn't mean it's God's plan. I only really want the job that God wants me to have. If this is it, great! If not, He will help me overcome my disappointment and guide me to the right job at the right time.

Like most schools in the area, teachers start work for the school year Thursday, 8/14/14. Since my interview is Monday, I'm sure they will be making a decision shortly thereafter. It amazes me that I may interview for a job and start work the same week. The only times that has happened, I already had the job when I applied.

If you're reading this post before my interview, please say a prayer for me. I'll let ya know what happens next week.

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.

The Heat Is On . . .

To find a job. I interviewed at one school district a little over a month ago. It sounded so promising and it seemed like God had worked it out that I could make the interview without having to ask off work to do it. Then I waited. And waited. I've called the Deputy Superintendent that interviewed me a couple times and emailed him once. I emailed the Superintendent a week or so ago to make sure he knows I am seriously interested in working in that district. As of today, that district has only four positions still available. I'm only interested in one of those positions and it is one for which I've applied.

The district where I attended school from Kindergarten through 12th grade also has one position posted in which I am interested. My stepsister, who has already been hired by the same district this summer, suggested I write cover letters to the Principal and Superintendent, explaining who I am and the fact that I would love to teach in the district where I was educated. She also suggested I call them. I emailed my letters this afternoon. I looked at my schedule at work tomorrow; it looks like I have an opening where I will have time to try to call them. To be honest, even though I would prefer a social studies class to English (my second choice), I would love to work in my "home" district. For one thing, the pay is better. For another, my nephews are in school there. Part of me would like to move back there. And if I teach there, even better!

School starts on August 25. If I were hired by the first district I mentioned, it looks like my first day would be August 15. If I were hired by my "home" district, I think I would start August 14. Since Friday is August 1, I really feel like I need to know something by then so I can give a two week notice to my current job. However, I told my supervisor I'll let her know as soon as I know something. I don't know for sure that she understands that may be less than two weeks before I would start.

The past couple weeks have truly been in God's hands. I'm not sure I would've made it through intact without Him. Each day has been a struggle to maintain some level of sanity and do what I know He wants me to do that day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not totally in line. I'm getting closer, but I'm not there yet. There are a couple relatively simple things I haven't gotten back on track; well, one is much easier than the other. I am a child of God, the one who holds everything in His hands. He's got this. He picks up my broken pieces, even when I am the reason I'm broken.

Summer!

I am totally enjoying not having homework, but I keep having the feeling that there's something I'm forgetting to do. I checked my grades earlier in the week. I made a B in the reading class and a C in the assessment class. I was a little disappointed in the C, but I'm okay with it. For the sheer number of assignments required and the amount of time I had between work, life, and homework, I'm satisfied.

Still no real news on the job front. I decided not to call the Deputy Superintendent this week. I don't wanna be a pest and talk myself out of a job. I check the sites at least twice a week. (Usually more like four or five times a week.) When I checked the Region 8 site today, I saw that two or three of the positions for which I was being considered were no longer listed. My heart skipped a beat. I kept looking down the list and saw four new postings. Two of them are SOCIAL STUDIES!!! I tried to call the Deputy Superintendent after I applied for them (actually all four positions), but I think the admin office may be closed on Fridays. Instead, I sent him an email to confirm that one of the Social Studies positions would be my preference. If I don't hear anything next week, I think I'll call at the end of the week. I'm praying for God's will, but I really want one of those Social Studies positions.

Since I now have time to read what I want, I decided to go to the library. I haven't been since I got my library card. What did I get? John Grisham's The Associate. It was the only Grisham legal thriller I don't already have. I'm thinking I'll check out Lord of the Rings or Catcher in the Rye next time.

At least all that's over.

So much has happened since my last post, but I don't really have time to catch you up at the moment. I finished the semester with a B in both classes. I was happy about that, believe it or not. I'm still working on watching the observation videos to officially be admitted to the ACP program. The month of May has really flown past. I planned to finish the videos and answer the questions before I took the TExES 4-8 Generalist. That didn't happen. I also didn't get to study for the blasted exam like I had planned. I took it yesterday. I studied and prayed all week. I prayed before the test and during the test. I actually feel pretty good about it; I know God didn't bring me this far, only to fail now. My mom always taught me to study like my grade depended on me and pray like it depended on God. If I don't get the required 240 on this test, it would be the first big standardized test on which I didn't score well enough the first time. I should have my results by 5 pm Friday. That means I'll be checking my account all week to see when my score is posted.

Last week, I took a course and am now a certified Youth Mental Health First Aid Instructor. (Paid for by my employer, thankfully!) After I updated my resume last night, I uploaded it to my profiles and decided to check out the latest job postings. I'm glad I did! I applied for a few new jobs. I already know I didn't get one job; thankfully, it was one I didn't really want.

Summer classes start Monday. I'm not positive that I'm ready, but at least the semester will be complete by the 4th of July.

I'm taking a little fun time tonight to watch a movie or two with Paul.

Being sick is making me sick.

Before this week, I was sick for pretty much two straight weeks. I started feeling better this week, but still lacked energy and work gets in the way of me doing much homework some days. Needless to say, I got behind. When I started to work on everything today, I realized that I had not only missed deadlines and was submitting some things late, but there were a few things I no longer had access to, including a test. I knew the test had to be taken by end of day on February 22, but I got my dates mixed up; I thought today was the 22nd. It's not the end of the world, but definitely not how I want to operate in my classes.

I hope to get everything caught up and get ahead this week. Hopefully before Friday. Even though I missed almost an entire week of work, I'm taking off some much-needed time, starting Friday. I have to work next Wednesday and Thursday, then I'm taking off Friday again. That weekend, we're going to D/FW with Nancy and Alex; little man wants to see a hockey game. It took me a few hours to find something, but there's actually a minor league hockey team in North Richland Hills, the Lone Star Brahmas. On Sunday, we're going to Grapevine for a bit of fun at Legoland Discovery Center. If Alex knew, he'd be just as excited as Paul and I are. Maybe I'll post a few pictures of the weekend.

But next weekend, I have my last face to face class session this semester.

No matter what, I just have to trust God. He made me well and, because of Him, we're able to take a little vacation. Without His guidance, I wouldn't even be a student right now. He is in control and will help me with the rest of my work this semester. All I have to do is let Him help. Give it to God and don't take it back. He's got this.

Ummm . . .

Work was a chore this week. We were closed for the holiday on Monday, but Tuesday through Thursday seemed like Monday. There were even moments when I had to remind myself that today was Friday. Exhaustion set in. I've barely even thought about my homework. Tomorrow I'll have to buckle down, clarify my assignments in my mind, and get it done. I also need to find out what Dr. H really expects of our chapter presentations. My assignment partner and I haven't discussed it yet and I'm still uncertain how we're supposed to present the chapter. And it's due February 1.

Here's a little secret about me. I actually like being a student. I know it doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but I've always loved being in school. (Maybe that's one reason I've secretly wanted to be a teacher for so many years.)

My source of peace in all this is God. I know He has the solution to my exhaustion. He sees the whole big picture. In Him is where my true joy and happiness are found. Without Him, I would have and be nothing. Everything I am and everything I have are blessings from God. I had such a tough day Wednesday that I needed a creative outlet when I got home that night. Here's what I made:

I saw a Facebook post with this verse on it when I was home for lunch Wednesday afternoon. I've read it thousands of times in my life, but it really spoke to me Wednesday. God's plans for me are the reason I'm doing all this; why I have the job I have and why I'm in grad school. I'm planning to print this off, frame it, and hang it in my office. Some days, I really need to be reminded that everything I am experiencing fits into God's plan for my life. Thanks to Maggie for creating the great kit I used, Faith365: Choose Joy. You can find it in her store at My Memories or at MagsGraphics.

God's got this and He is in control.

Like I mentioned before, Paul has been sick since Halloween. The past couple days, he's been feeling better. We were even able to go to a restaurant Friday night to celebrate my sister Nancy's birthday on Saturday. He felt pretty good yesterday. This morning, he was nauseous and sick to his stomach and complained of being cold. (If you know Paul, you know that he's probably cold about as often as he's sick. He even wears flip flops out when it's cold.) Why did I tell you all that? To get to my point. But, before I get there, I need to rewind a little more.

Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and go to Starbucks to work on my chapter review for Human Growth and Development. I got my test corrections for the educational research class done, but I only wrote maybe another page on the chapter review. I just couldn't seem to focus on it. Anyway, since Paul woke up sick again, I decided to stay home today and just work on my homework here. Not going so well. I ate lunch, checked Facebook, downloaded some more of my digi scrapping supplies (I'm redoing the entire way I organize my kits. Long story, which would probably be even more boring than this one.). I was only going to do that while I ate lunch, but I decided to check my university email before I got started. Then, for some reason, I decided to check Pinterest. Two hours later, I realized I needed to start the chapter review. I tried to start it in the bedroom, but the overhead light just glared on the pages of the textbook. Polly and Court were running around and Paul kept pulling the blanket I was under. None of that was helping me focus. I decided to go to the living room. I packed up the laptop, my book, my phone, drinks, and snacks. Now, here I sit in the living room, still not able to focus on this chapter review, which is due Tuesday night. I'm worried about Paul; he was doing so much better, now he seems to be getting worse again. I absolutely cannot miss class again this week to take him back to the doctor. I'm not even sure if I'm doing the darned review the right way; Dr. R really didn't give us much instruction on what he wanted.

I had a little blow up last night. There are lots of things around the house that Paul has been saying he would take care of for the last year, since he was laid off his job. None of them have been done and it's only getting worse. To him, this stuff isn't a big deal. To me, it just adds chaos that I don't need. After I came home last night, we had already discussed watching Parkland and Grown Ups 2. One little thing happened as I was putting the Parkland disc in the blu-ray player and off I went. I even threatened to unregister (is that even a word?) for my Spring classes and quit my job so maybe I would have the time and energy to do the stuff myself. I don't really know why I said that. I'm not going to quit school. If I don't get my degree, I'm jumping right off God's path again. I know I won't quit my job; I like having a place to live and all the other things my pay allows us to afford. I calmed back down, almost as quickly as I had blown up. Then I had to apologize. I wonder if my blow up had anything to do with Paul feeling worse again today. I hadn't even thought of that until now.

As little as I am accomplishing today, I would usually go to Starbucks. Or, at the very least, go to the university. I just don't feel like getting ready to go out in public. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. I don't feel like showering and washing my hair. I don't feel like pulling out clothes and getting dressed. I don't feel like driving across town. All I really feel like doing is laying down, watching TV, and doing something that doesn't take much mental or physical effort. I guess this chapter review that I seem to be avoiding doesn't take much physical effort. Not much more than typing this blog post, clicking around Facebook, or downloading and organizing digital scrapbooking kits. The main problem with doing the review today seems to be my lack of mental energy. As I sit here typing this post in the living room, which shares a wall with our bedroom, I can faintly hear the TV. I'm the only one in here; the furbabies are in the bedroom with Paul. It's almost peaceful. I haven't had many peaceful times lately. It seems that my mind is always busy--reading a chapter or some research article, working on an assignment, thinking about what needs to be done, or thinking about work. My mind always seems to be going. And when I'm scattered like this, I forget to take my meds, which only makes the anxiety and depression and lack of energy worse. It's times like these when I think things like "No wonder God hasn't given us a child. When would I have time for him or her? How would I be able to take care of a child when I can barely get up early enough in the morning to get to work on time?" I know this is all temporary. I just need to pray more and have more faith and trust in God. He's already got all this figured out. I don't need to stress about my missing Test #1 in my research class. I don't need to worry about Paul like I have been. I don't need to worry about my own health like I do. God's got this and He is in control.

One down, two to go!

The final for my web class was due Monday night. I was happy to turn it in with almost an hour left. I was even happier yesterday when I realized that I have an A for the class. {Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance!} Now, if I could only do so well in my other two classes. I felt sick all day Monday and had a migraine Tuesday and Wednesday. I even missed my Human Growth & Development class Tuesday night. I emailed Dr. R to see if I can take the test I missed after Tuesday's test. I guess I'll see how that goes. When Dr. L posted our grades for Tests 2 and 3, I asked if she had seen my Test 1. Of course, she hadn't. She said she would check at the Testing Center. I hope they find it; I can't stand to lose 100 points. Otherwise, I seem to be doing pretty well. I think I have a strong B in HG&D. I'm not too sure about the research class yet.

On a much more positive note, my migraine appears to be gone and is now just an annoying headache. I'm hoping it's gone soon.

It just strikes me that I seem to be doubting. God's already got this semester taken care of. Why should I doubt? If I do my part, why wouldn't God take care of me? Thanks for the eye opener, God!

As the deadline looms . . .

I have so much to do and so little time in which to do it. Today is Thursday. The last weekly assignments for my tech class are due by 11:30 Sunday evening and the final project is due Monday evening. I think I'll have a busy weekend. I'm debating whether I should go to the university - or Starbucks - Saturday and Sunday. I really wish I could take tomorrow off from work, but, alas, I didn't plan ahead. I'm considering checking the calendars for my other two classes and requesting some time off toward the end of the semester. I haven't really had a chance to start the research on any of my research projects. I've gathered some info, but I haven't had a chance to really read any of it yet. That's where God comes in. My mom always told me "Study like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God."

As I have said more than once on this blog, God is in control. If it weren't for His guidance, I wouldn't be in grad school right now. Once I felt like this was what He wanted me to do, I asked Him over and over again to make it happen if I was on the right path and stop me if I was wrong. Without God's help, I would have never made it through Summer II with a B average. (I really should've had an A in one class, but I have to let that go. Let's just say 25 points can make a difference in a letter grade.) God has led me this far, I know He has a plan for me and will put me where He wants me in his timing. I saw a picture on Facebook tonight that inspired this post:

This is so true. I have been in more places and situations that I didn't understand than I can even remember. Every time, He has put me where I needed to be. I think I'm in one of those places now. All I can do is trust God and follow His lead.

She gone.

Well, not exactly. But I'm done with my tech class for this week. And I finally got messages from the last three people in the group and got them added to the blog. All's well that ends well. (Isn't that Shakespeare? I can't remember.)

Now, if I could just get into reading these blasted four chapters for my research class. We have a test over them tomorrow night and I'm still reading the first chapter. I just can't seem to concentrate on them. That's kinda been my problem this week. I can't seem to concentrate on reading the stuff I'm supposed to read. Almost anything else has had a better chance this week. Does this mean I'm hitting the wall already? I have way too much to do to hit the wall anytime soon.

Father, please help me to concentrate. You have led me this far. I know You won't let me fail.

The bookmark I chose for my research class textbook is rather fitting:
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
God has led me to this point. I am here for a reason. His reason. He has great things in store for me. I just have to trust and follow Him. By "great things" I do not mean monetary wealth. I simply mean that I know God plans to work through me. It is only by His grace and love that I am who I am. He has allowed me to make every mistake I have made for a reason. It is completely within God's power to take me out of the situations I have created and place me exactly where He wants me to be. But that isn't how He chooses to work in my life. He allows me to make mistakes and learn from them. Or not learn from them and repeat them. Instead of creating robots that worship Him at will, God created humans with the ability to make our own decisions and love and worship Him when we are ready. Often, when we have reached the end of our ropes and learned that our way isn't working. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be me and being there to pick up my broken pieces and put them back together to serve Your purposes.

Group Projects and Turkey Hats

Today was not my typical Saturday. Dr. L assigned us to groups of two or three to do presentations when we meet again next Monday. This morning was pretty much the only time the three of us could all meet face to face. Now, if you know me at all, you know I am not a morning person. Most Saturdays, I don't even get out of my pajamas, much less leave my house by 9:30 am. But, there I was this morning, leaving home at 9:30, heading to Starbucks for some caffeine before I went to TAMU-T for our meeting. One of the other girls needed to change the time to 10:45 instead of 10. Fine with me; the drive to the university takes me 30 minutes, so I was gonna be late. Then I realized that I had to buy gas before I headed out there. Fortunately, I was the first one there, so I had time to set up my laptop. Since I was there anyway, I decided yesterday that I would go ahead and work on some other homework. I got my paper for Mr./Dr. G's class written and submitted before I decided to leave so Paul and I could get some lunch.

After lunch, we did a little shopping. I was happy with the few movies we bought at Best Buy and the book (Si-cology by Si Robertson) and silicone bracelets I picked up at Lifeway. My favorite purchase of the day came from Target. A few weeks ago, I bought Paul a turkey hat to wear for Thanksgiving.

I found another one and I had to have it!

I am set for all my Thanksgiving festivities this year!

Another amazing thing has happened this month. I have apparently lost more weight. My size 18 pants are practically falling off of me. Now the size 16 pants I bought last month are looser than they should be. I bought a pair of blue jeans the other day and decided to try another size. I was a little shocked when these actually fit!

I thought maybe it was just because they're a little stretchy. Today I bought a new pair of pants for work: size 14! I even tried on a pair of skinny jeans that were size 14. (I didn't realize they were skinny jeans when I picked them up, but I decided to try 'em on anyway.) They fastened perfectly, but I didn't like the way the legs fit. The annoying thing about it is that I still wear at least a 2X in shirts. (I have an apple body type, so my top is bigger than my bottom.) I have some tops that I really like and some of them are getting too big. I guess that's the downfall of losing weight. 

God is continuing to bless me in ways I don't even realize. And probably don't really appreciate. Tomorrow we're planning to visit a church. I'm planning to pay my tithe there, something I haven't done in far too long. I know from experience that my life and my finances are better when I tithe faithfully. When I don't, I know it is at least partially due to a lack of faith. There's a part of me that says "I won't have enough for everything I need if I pay it." But God has proven me wrong many, many times. Since I'm leaving the big fish, it's time to practice my faith.

You're not gonna believe this!

If you know me well at all, you know I procrastinate. Throughout my career as an undergrad, I have justified it by pointing out that I always did better on the papers I wrote the night before they were due and often did better on tests when I crammed the night before. The problem with doing that is extra stress. Working a full-time job and being a full-time grad student is stressful enough; I don't need the extra stress of procrastination. Granted, I usually finish reading my chapters on Sunday and Monday nights. There is a good reason for that. If I read the chapters at the beginning of the week, I'll forget what I read by the next week when it's time to take the tests. I pace myself. And I try to get the assignments for my web class, Teaching with Emerging Technologies, done early. This week, I actually accomplished that goal. I even took a screen shot to prove it.

Now I have more time for researching and working on the final project. Don't ask me to explain it. Even though I've read the assignment a few times, I don't really remember exactly what the project is. I also need to get all my research done for Human Growth and Development. I don't want to get stuck not having enough resources and not be able to get something soon enough through inter-library loan. 

I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I guess trusting God is helping me grow in more ways than one.