As Madea would say . . .

"Halleluyer!!!"

God has definitely answered my prayer this week.

I received my email this afternoon. I will be a new 5th grade teacher this year!!!

I talked to the HR Director at a local school district yesterday afternoon. She wanted to confirm some details and said she would be recommending me for the position at the board meeting last night. During my last hour of group, I received a call and a text from the principal at another school with whom I've talked for over a month. Their school board accepted the recommendation to hire me for an 8th grade science position. I told her about the other district. She said she understood, especially with all the confusion and as long as it has taken for her to be able to recommend me. I texted the HR director to confirm the board had accepted her recommendation before declining the other position.

All summer, I have prayed and God gave me the feeling that I should accept the first offer I received. I firmly believe I accepted the position He has planned for me the entire time. I would have started with the other district today and would have made more money, but I believe this is where God wants me. I received the email today confirming the position and giving instructions on registering for orientation. I excited beyond explanation. I can hardly wait to begin my orientation.

One of the funniest things about it: Paul knew I had the job before I knew. He went to the board meeting and actually spoke with the Superintendent and the HR Director, who both confirmed that I had the job.

Bummer

Well, I had my interview Monday morning. As I parked, I saw a man walk out, but didn't really pay much attention to him. I realized through my peripheral vision that he got into the SUV that I had parked beside. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk toward the door when I heard my name. I turned to realize that the man in the SUV was a friend of my sister's. He has been a certified teacher for a few years. He had just interviewed for the same position for which I was going to interview. We wished each other luck and I headed for the building.

The interview was pretty informal. No real questions; the superintendent just asked me to tell them about myself. I think it went pretty well. The only possible problem the superintendent seemed to have was that I'm in an alternative certification program and don't yet have a certification. And inservice starts Thursday. With the interview over, all that was left was to wait for a call yesterday or today. As you may have already guessed, a call never came. I haven't checked with J yet to see if he got it, but I know I'm not the newest addition to Leary ISD.

I realized yesterday that I am not going to have an internship this year. I really started to get concerned about my student teaching in the spring semester. You don't get paid for student teaching. You do, however, get paid to work as an aide. According to the alternative cert program, you can work as an aide in your certification area/grade level and qualify to student teach. In essence, if I get a job as an aide in a 4th-8th grade classroom, I could do my student teaching in the spring and still get a paycheck. So I decided yesterday to start looking for aide positions in 4th-8th grade. I guess I should've been applying for those all along, too. I only found a few positions still posted. I found out yesterday that one was basically already closed; they won't be removing the posting until the person is officially hired at the school board meeting Thursday night. With very little in Texas, I decided to check Arkansas. I only found one posting for a district about half an hour from home. I emailed about it this morning, only to be informed this afternoon that it had already been filled. There are still two middle school aide positions posted. I may apply for them tonight; I may wait until Friday to see if the postings are removed after the board meeting tomorrow night.

Now I'm disappointed, frustrated, and bummed out. I know that God is in control of the entire situation. There is a reason why there are 18 people enrolled in the internship class and I am not one of them. There is a reason I am still at my current job. When I realized that so many other students obviously found teaching positions, I started to question myself. What's wrong with me? Why did so many other people get a job and I didn't? Ultimately, I know that it isn't that I'm defective. God apparently still has something for me to do where I am. He isn't ready for me to move on to a school yet. But I'm not giving up. He may still have an aide position for me later in the school year. Even if He doesn't and I have to quit my job to do my student teaching, I have to trust God. His plan is perfect. I am definitely not.

The Heat Is On . . .

To find a job. I interviewed at one school district a little over a month ago. It sounded so promising and it seemed like God had worked it out that I could make the interview without having to ask off work to do it. Then I waited. And waited. I've called the Deputy Superintendent that interviewed me a couple times and emailed him once. I emailed the Superintendent a week or so ago to make sure he knows I am seriously interested in working in that district. As of today, that district has only four positions still available. I'm only interested in one of those positions and it is one for which I've applied.

The district where I attended school from Kindergarten through 12th grade also has one position posted in which I am interested. My stepsister, who has already been hired by the same district this summer, suggested I write cover letters to the Principal and Superintendent, explaining who I am and the fact that I would love to teach in the district where I was educated. She also suggested I call them. I emailed my letters this afternoon. I looked at my schedule at work tomorrow; it looks like I have an opening where I will have time to try to call them. To be honest, even though I would prefer a social studies class to English (my second choice), I would love to work in my "home" district. For one thing, the pay is better. For another, my nephews are in school there. Part of me would like to move back there. And if I teach there, even better!

School starts on August 25. If I were hired by the first district I mentioned, it looks like my first day would be August 15. If I were hired by my "home" district, I think I would start August 14. Since Friday is August 1, I really feel like I need to know something by then so I can give a two week notice to my current job. However, I told my supervisor I'll let her know as soon as I know something. I don't know for sure that she understands that may be less than two weeks before I would start.

The past couple weeks have truly been in God's hands. I'm not sure I would've made it through intact without Him. Each day has been a struggle to maintain some level of sanity and do what I know He wants me to do that day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not totally in line. I'm getting closer, but I'm not there yet. There are a couple relatively simple things I haven't gotten back on track; well, one is much easier than the other. I am a child of God, the one who holds everything in His hands. He's got this. He picks up my broken pieces, even when I am the reason I'm broken.

Is it Summer yet?

Spring semester has come and almost gone. I'm pretty dang happy about that. I think this may have been the toughest semester of my entire college career. I was sick for almost an entire month, which got me behind on assignments. (I'm still trying to catch up on a couple of those.) To be honest, I haven't really felt good since. Maybe it's just the added stress of being behind on my assignments, plus work and being human. My nephew, Alex, started playing soccer, too. I'm also trying to get my resume and cover letter perfected so I can apply for teaching positions for this fall. I found out that I won't be eligible for financial aid if I only take one class in the summer, like I had planned. Since the only classes I need are offered in Summer I, I'll have another 6 credit hour Summer semester. (At least it doesn't start until June!) I'll be taking the TExES 4-8 Generalist exam on May 30, so I have most of the month to prepare. I also need to finish my last 9.5 hours of observation videos and answer the obervation questions to be accepted into the Graduate Program for Initial Teacher Certification. No stress, right?

Here're the good parts. My research anthology and PowerPoint presentation for one class are due no later than April 28. Then there isn't much left for the end of the semester. In the module posted yesterday for my other class, the due date for the research paper was pushed back to May 7. (I got a little breathing room this weekend!) The only other thing I know of there is the final exam. Totally doable, especially since everything for the first class is due by May 2. I feel pretty confident that I will come out of both classes with a B, so not really damaging to the GPA. Summer I is only a few weeks long. After July 3, we're done and I'll have the rest of the summer to concentrate on applying for jobs and, hopefully, setting up my new classroom. Once I pass the 4-8 Generalist exam, it should be easier to find a job. It broadens my certification, which means I won't be limited to Social Studies only. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Paul was in a wreck Saturday night. The short version is that he was blinded by the bright lights of an oncoming vehicle. When he could finally see again, he didn't have time to stop the car from hitting the pickup in front of him. He wasn't badly injured, just "strained, sprained, and bruised", as the ER doctor said. Our insurance should cover the other guy's medical bills and his truck, but we didn't have full coverage, so it will only pay part of Paul's ER visit and nothing on our car. Now we're being shuttled around by my mom and stepdad or my baby sister and brother-n-law while we're figuring out how to get another car. GOD'S GOT THIS.

Even though Paul was sore, Easter was pretty good. My sister and brother-in-law picked us up so we could go to lunch with everybody. Alex told us "I asked Jesus to move into my heart and he did." The best Easter news since Jesus rose!

The best part of everything is GOD'S GOT THIS. He protected Paul and the other guy involved in the wreck. He already knows what car we'll get and how we'll pay for it. All we have to do is thank Him for what He's done and what He will do and have faith that He will provide in His perfect timing.

Here are the pictures I took of the car at the tow yard yesterday and of Paul's injuries Sunday.

God's got this and He is in control.

Like I mentioned before, Paul has been sick since Halloween. The past couple days, he's been feeling better. We were even able to go to a restaurant Friday night to celebrate my sister Nancy's birthday on Saturday. He felt pretty good yesterday. This morning, he was nauseous and sick to his stomach and complained of being cold. (If you know Paul, you know that he's probably cold about as often as he's sick. He even wears flip flops out when it's cold.) Why did I tell you all that? To get to my point. But, before I get there, I need to rewind a little more.

Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and go to Starbucks to work on my chapter review for Human Growth and Development. I got my test corrections for the educational research class done, but I only wrote maybe another page on the chapter review. I just couldn't seem to focus on it. Anyway, since Paul woke up sick again, I decided to stay home today and just work on my homework here. Not going so well. I ate lunch, checked Facebook, downloaded some more of my digi scrapping supplies (I'm redoing the entire way I organize my kits. Long story, which would probably be even more boring than this one.). I was only going to do that while I ate lunch, but I decided to check my university email before I got started. Then, for some reason, I decided to check Pinterest. Two hours later, I realized I needed to start the chapter review. I tried to start it in the bedroom, but the overhead light just glared on the pages of the textbook. Polly and Court were running around and Paul kept pulling the blanket I was under. None of that was helping me focus. I decided to go to the living room. I packed up the laptop, my book, my phone, drinks, and snacks. Now, here I sit in the living room, still not able to focus on this chapter review, which is due Tuesday night. I'm worried about Paul; he was doing so much better, now he seems to be getting worse again. I absolutely cannot miss class again this week to take him back to the doctor. I'm not even sure if I'm doing the darned review the right way; Dr. R really didn't give us much instruction on what he wanted.

I had a little blow up last night. There are lots of things around the house that Paul has been saying he would take care of for the last year, since he was laid off his job. None of them have been done and it's only getting worse. To him, this stuff isn't a big deal. To me, it just adds chaos that I don't need. After I came home last night, we had already discussed watching Parkland and Grown Ups 2. One little thing happened as I was putting the Parkland disc in the blu-ray player and off I went. I even threatened to unregister (is that even a word?) for my Spring classes and quit my job so maybe I would have the time and energy to do the stuff myself. I don't really know why I said that. I'm not going to quit school. If I don't get my degree, I'm jumping right off God's path again. I know I won't quit my job; I like having a place to live and all the other things my pay allows us to afford. I calmed back down, almost as quickly as I had blown up. Then I had to apologize. I wonder if my blow up had anything to do with Paul feeling worse again today. I hadn't even thought of that until now.

As little as I am accomplishing today, I would usually go to Starbucks. Or, at the very least, go to the university. I just don't feel like getting ready to go out in public. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. I don't feel like showering and washing my hair. I don't feel like pulling out clothes and getting dressed. I don't feel like driving across town. All I really feel like doing is laying down, watching TV, and doing something that doesn't take much mental or physical effort. I guess this chapter review that I seem to be avoiding doesn't take much physical effort. Not much more than typing this blog post, clicking around Facebook, or downloading and organizing digital scrapbooking kits. The main problem with doing the review today seems to be my lack of mental energy. As I sit here typing this post in the living room, which shares a wall with our bedroom, I can faintly hear the TV. I'm the only one in here; the furbabies are in the bedroom with Paul. It's almost peaceful. I haven't had many peaceful times lately. It seems that my mind is always busy--reading a chapter or some research article, working on an assignment, thinking about what needs to be done, or thinking about work. My mind always seems to be going. And when I'm scattered like this, I forget to take my meds, which only makes the anxiety and depression and lack of energy worse. It's times like these when I think things like "No wonder God hasn't given us a child. When would I have time for him or her? How would I be able to take care of a child when I can barely get up early enough in the morning to get to work on time?" I know this is all temporary. I just need to pray more and have more faith and trust in God. He's already got all this figured out. I don't need to stress about my missing Test #1 in my research class. I don't need to worry about Paul like I have been. I don't need to worry about my own health like I do. God's got this and He is in control.