Being sick is making me sick.

Before this week, I was sick for pretty much two straight weeks. I started feeling better this week, but still lacked energy and work gets in the way of me doing much homework some days. Needless to say, I got behind. When I started to work on everything today, I realized that I had not only missed deadlines and was submitting some things late, but there were a few things I no longer had access to, including a test. I knew the test had to be taken by end of day on February 22, but I got my dates mixed up; I thought today was the 22nd. It's not the end of the world, but definitely not how I want to operate in my classes.

I hope to get everything caught up and get ahead this week. Hopefully before Friday. Even though I missed almost an entire week of work, I'm taking off some much-needed time, starting Friday. I have to work next Wednesday and Thursday, then I'm taking off Friday again. That weekend, we're going to D/FW with Nancy and Alex; little man wants to see a hockey game. It took me a few hours to find something, but there's actually a minor league hockey team in North Richland Hills, the Lone Star Brahmas. On Sunday, we're going to Grapevine for a bit of fun at Legoland Discovery Center. If Alex knew, he'd be just as excited as Paul and I are. Maybe I'll post a few pictures of the weekend.

But next weekend, I have my last face to face class session this semester.

No matter what, I just have to trust God. He made me well and, because of Him, we're able to take a little vacation. Without His guidance, I wouldn't even be a student right now. He is in control and will help me with the rest of my work this semester. All I have to do is let Him help. Give it to God and don't take it back. He's got this.

God's got this and He is in control.

Like I mentioned before, Paul has been sick since Halloween. The past couple days, he's been feeling better. We were even able to go to a restaurant Friday night to celebrate my sister Nancy's birthday on Saturday. He felt pretty good yesterday. This morning, he was nauseous and sick to his stomach and complained of being cold. (If you know Paul, you know that he's probably cold about as often as he's sick. He even wears flip flops out when it's cold.) Why did I tell you all that? To get to my point. But, before I get there, I need to rewind a little more.

Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and go to Starbucks to work on my chapter review for Human Growth and Development. I got my test corrections for the educational research class done, but I only wrote maybe another page on the chapter review. I just couldn't seem to focus on it. Anyway, since Paul woke up sick again, I decided to stay home today and just work on my homework here. Not going so well. I ate lunch, checked Facebook, downloaded some more of my digi scrapping supplies (I'm redoing the entire way I organize my kits. Long story, which would probably be even more boring than this one.). I was only going to do that while I ate lunch, but I decided to check my university email before I got started. Then, for some reason, I decided to check Pinterest. Two hours later, I realized I needed to start the chapter review. I tried to start it in the bedroom, but the overhead light just glared on the pages of the textbook. Polly and Court were running around and Paul kept pulling the blanket I was under. None of that was helping me focus. I decided to go to the living room. I packed up the laptop, my book, my phone, drinks, and snacks. Now, here I sit in the living room, still not able to focus on this chapter review, which is due Tuesday night. I'm worried about Paul; he was doing so much better, now he seems to be getting worse again. I absolutely cannot miss class again this week to take him back to the doctor. I'm not even sure if I'm doing the darned review the right way; Dr. R really didn't give us much instruction on what he wanted.

I had a little blow up last night. There are lots of things around the house that Paul has been saying he would take care of for the last year, since he was laid off his job. None of them have been done and it's only getting worse. To him, this stuff isn't a big deal. To me, it just adds chaos that I don't need. After I came home last night, we had already discussed watching Parkland and Grown Ups 2. One little thing happened as I was putting the Parkland disc in the blu-ray player and off I went. I even threatened to unregister (is that even a word?) for my Spring classes and quit my job so maybe I would have the time and energy to do the stuff myself. I don't really know why I said that. I'm not going to quit school. If I don't get my degree, I'm jumping right off God's path again. I know I won't quit my job; I like having a place to live and all the other things my pay allows us to afford. I calmed back down, almost as quickly as I had blown up. Then I had to apologize. I wonder if my blow up had anything to do with Paul feeling worse again today. I hadn't even thought of that until now.

As little as I am accomplishing today, I would usually go to Starbucks. Or, at the very least, go to the university. I just don't feel like getting ready to go out in public. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. I don't feel like showering and washing my hair. I don't feel like pulling out clothes and getting dressed. I don't feel like driving across town. All I really feel like doing is laying down, watching TV, and doing something that doesn't take much mental or physical effort. I guess this chapter review that I seem to be avoiding doesn't take much physical effort. Not much more than typing this blog post, clicking around Facebook, or downloading and organizing digital scrapbooking kits. The main problem with doing the review today seems to be my lack of mental energy. As I sit here typing this post in the living room, which shares a wall with our bedroom, I can faintly hear the TV. I'm the only one in here; the furbabies are in the bedroom with Paul. It's almost peaceful. I haven't had many peaceful times lately. It seems that my mind is always busy--reading a chapter or some research article, working on an assignment, thinking about what needs to be done, or thinking about work. My mind always seems to be going. And when I'm scattered like this, I forget to take my meds, which only makes the anxiety and depression and lack of energy worse. It's times like these when I think things like "No wonder God hasn't given us a child. When would I have time for him or her? How would I be able to take care of a child when I can barely get up early enough in the morning to get to work on time?" I know this is all temporary. I just need to pray more and have more faith and trust in God. He's already got all this figured out. I don't need to stress about my missing Test #1 in my research class. I don't need to worry about Paul like I have been. I don't need to worry about my own health like I do. God's got this and He is in control.

Ah! Spring! And Meet Noelle

My research has been going okay. I'll probably end up changing my question for my Research Proposal a little bit, but I think I have almost all the articles I need. (I need to go to the library at Texarkana College for the last two articles.) My research paper for Human Growth and Development is on hold until I finish my Chapter Review, which is due next Tuesday. God's got this, so I know I'll do fine.

Registration for the Spring semester started today for Grad students and Seniors at A&M - Texarkana. After talking with a nice gentleman in Financial Aid, I decided to register for two classes instead of three. It won't hurt my future financial aid and I'll be awarded aid based on the number of hours for which I register. I was looking at three classes, two education classes that my adviser had suggested, as well as a reading class she had suggested for next summer. The first seven weeks of this semester were pretty hectic. I am thankful that the tech class lasted only seven weeks. I'm hoping next semester will be a little less hectic. It will definitely be less hectic than if I had decided to take three classes.

While I was at Target last night, I found an Elf on the Shelf. There were only two left, both girls. Meet Noelle.

I have all kinds of mischievous and cute plans for her this holiday season! I'll be sure to post some of her adventures. 

One last thing. Paul almost never gets sick. He's been sick since Thursday. His fever keeps going up and down. He has a constant headache, apparent sinus problems, and his appetite is pretty much non-existent. Not that I want to be sick, but I almost wish it were me that's sick. At least I have medical insurance. I was able to add him to my vision and dental insurance, but medical was almost $300 out of each paycheck. We can't afford that big a hit twice a month. Any prayers for him would be greatly appreciated. 

One down, two to go!

The final for my web class was due Monday night. I was happy to turn it in with almost an hour left. I was even happier yesterday when I realized that I have an A for the class. {Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance!} Now, if I could only do so well in my other two classes. I felt sick all day Monday and had a migraine Tuesday and Wednesday. I even missed my Human Growth & Development class Tuesday night. I emailed Dr. R to see if I can take the test I missed after Tuesday's test. I guess I'll see how that goes. When Dr. L posted our grades for Tests 2 and 3, I asked if she had seen my Test 1. Of course, she hadn't. She said she would check at the Testing Center. I hope they find it; I can't stand to lose 100 points. Otherwise, I seem to be doing pretty well. I think I have a strong B in HG&D. I'm not too sure about the research class yet.

On a much more positive note, my migraine appears to be gone and is now just an annoying headache. I'm hoping it's gone soon.

It just strikes me that I seem to be doubting. God's already got this semester taken care of. Why should I doubt? If I do my part, why wouldn't God take care of me? Thanks for the eye opener, God!

It's not been my week . . .

Before I can tell you about this week, though, I need to rewind to last week. I knew last weekend that I had developed a urinary tract infection. Since Monday was Labor Day, I couldn't call my doctor's office. One of the first things I did when I got to work Tuesday morning was call the office and leave a message on the nurse's voice mail. Before class, I called to see if they had called in a prescription. I called again Wednesday. Still no meds. I'm almost positive I called and left the nurse another voice mail Thursday. I never got a call. 

This weekend, I knew the UTI was getting worse because my back was starting to hurt. I called again Monday morning and left yet another message for the nurse. By 10:30, I was hurting so bad I could hardly even sit still. A little after noon, I asked my supervisor if it was okay for me to leave to go to the doctor. I had Paul come get me and take me to an urgent care clinic. Then it was off to Target to get my prescriptions. We still had plenty of time to stop for lunch and I made it back to work half an hour early. Let's just say that the side effects of the meds started pretty quickly. I considered contacting Dr. L to see if I could miss class and take my exam later. But, we were learning about the library before the test, so I really wanted to try to make it. That was not my best decision of the day. I made it almost an hour before I had to ask to leave. (Now I just need to figure out when I'll have time to take the test.)

Today didn't start out much better. I got up for work and quickly realized that I wasn't going to make it. I went back to bed. I knew I couldn't miss my class tonight. Dr. R made it pretty clear the first night that missing classes is not acceptable. Fortunately, I started feeling a little better this afternoon. One side effect went away, another started. At least this one isn't as disruptive. I almost had the chapter read by the time we needed to get ready to leave. Then my day started to get worse again.

The porch by our back door only has like three steps. When I was stepping off the bottom step, I fell. I don't know how it happened. I just know I ended up laying in the dirt on my right side with my books and purse laying right there next to me. My faded black jeans looked like I'd been rolling in the dirt; I couldn't brush all the dirt off. On the positive side, I didn't really seem to hurt anything and I didn't get my shirt dirty. And it was the first time I've worn my TobyMac shirt from Winter Jam. This was definitely another instance of God watching out for me. I've hurt myself with what seemed to be a less dangerous fall. I'm sure I'll be sore and bruised tomorrow, but I'm thankful that's it. 

And, best of all, my student loan for this year has finally been awarded. I checked after I got home from class tonight. To my surprise, there it was. I accepted the whole amount and signed my master promissory note, so, hopefully, I'll be getting my refund soon. Maybe I'll be able to find out by the end of the week when it will be disbursed. That's one stressor gone, another prayer answered. 

In the morning I'll go back to work and I have group tomorrow night. I hope my week continues to improve.