Waiting for God's Timing

Sometimes, just sometimes, no news is good news, Other times, it's just frustrating. I'm still applying for teaching positions, but no job yet. The most recent interview was yesterday in a small town near which Paul and I lived when we were first married. I pray when I apply for a position. I pray prior to an interview. I ask God to give me the words He wants me to say during the interview and I ask for wisdom for the administrators making the decision. I know my life is in His hands. He already has a position chosen for me. I feel disappointed and, sometimes, frustrated when I don't get the job, but I don't want a job God doesn't want for me. I've learned that the hard way; I was miserable almost the entire time I worked for that company. There is a reason I still have the job I have. Maybe God isn't finished with me there quite yet.

It's altogether possible that the position God has planned for me isn't even available yet. Meanwhile, I'm debating whether I should apply for a specific position. It isn't a class I would want to teach long-term, but I could definitely do it to get my foot in the door and become an experienced teacher. There is still one position for which the principal planned to recommend me. However, she may not be able to fill the position due to a circumstance that I do not completely understand. I continue to pray, apply, and wait.

One of the verses that comes to my mind often as I pray, apply, and wait is Jeremiah 29:11 (HCSB) "For I know the plans I have for you"--this is the LORD's declaration--"plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

I am thankful for many things in my job search. First, I'm thankful for Paul and his support. I'm thankful for my mom and her encouragement. I'm thankful for all my Facebook friends and family members who are so supportive and who tell me about jobs. I try my best to make sure to thank each of them. I hope they realize how sincere I am and how much I appreciate them.

Soon enough, I'll post on here that God has led me to the position He has had planned for me the entire time.

Wow!

I was so busy during my clinical student teaching semester, I didn't have much time for anything but school and work. When it was finished, I was exhausted. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in 7th grade Texas History and learned more than I can explain. I was there for less than one semester, but those were my kids. I finished up on April 30, which gave me time to prep for the PPR exam.

I went to Marshall to take my PPR exam on May 13. Even though Paul and I lived just minutes away, we had never seen Wiley College before. I felt pretty good about the exam when I left. I got my results that Friday. I needed a score of at least 240; I made a 265. I was so excited! In fact, I'm still a little excited about it. I graduated from Texas A&M University-Texarkana with my Master's in Curriculum & Instruction on May 16.

Shortly after graduation, I applied for my standard teacher certification. Since I took the Social Studies exam before the Generalist exam and I was in a social studies classroom, the university recommended me for certification in 4-8 Social Studies. When a payday works out so I can afford the application fee again, I'll apply for my 4-8 Generalist certification.

No job yet. So far, I've had three interviews: two with one school and one with another. I didn't get the first two and I should hear about the third in the next few days. I'm applying for everything for which I may be qualified (except math!) and praying about each application and interview. I am completely trusting God in my job search, just as I did in the pursuit of my degree. I know He has a job chosen for me. It's only mid-June; it's possible my job isn't even open yet. For the time being, I'm still working as a substance abuse counselor. Shortly after I went part-time to do my student teaching, I was notified that I'll be part-time until further notice. That really hurts financially, but God is in control. 

Wow!

Here I am, on the eve of my first day of student teaching. With work, school, and illness, I was a little overwhelmed last semester. God, of course, saw me through and I ended up with A's in both classes. As it worked out, the only course I have this semester is my Clinical Practicum. That's a really good thing. With being at the school from 7:45 am to 3:45 pm Monday through Friday, my full-time work schedule had to change. I found out last Tuesday (yes, December 30) that my proposed work schedule wasn't approved. For reasons of which I am still unclear, I can't work on Saturdays. Less than one week before my new schedule starts, I found out that, instead of going from 40 hours a week to 33 hours a week, I'll only be able to work 25 hours a week. With my job being our only income, we've barely been making it as is.

I have to admit, I'm really unsure what will happen. I've been praying about this semester for quite a while. Actually, since I realized that I wouldn't get an internship. I keep reminding myself of several things. It's only four months. I should be finished with my student teaching by the beginning of May. I still have my student loan coming. I've been praying about it, and Paul and I are planning to switch cell phone carriers to get a cheaper plan. When my loan comes in, we'll pay off/catch up on a few bills. God is in control. He hasn't brought me this far to let me fail now. If this weren't in His plan, God would have stopped me before now. I've prayed the entire way and followed the doors He has opened.

The fact that everything has not gone my way doesn't mean that I'm doing the wrong thing. I think it means that God wants me to wait for Him and trust in Him. If it were easy, I could do it myself. I wouldn't need God. I believe this is another instance where God is proving to me that I do need Him, every minute of every day. Philippians 4:13 has been very important to me throughout this journey. My mom posted Ezra 7:10 on my Facebook timeline today. Not familiar with that verse? I wasn't, either. Here's the post from my mom:

We had this in Sunday School this morning and I thought of you.
Ezra 7:10
For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.

God helped Ezra and He can help you. We studied the first 10 verses of chapter 7 this morning, but you could read the whole book. It's pretty short.

With the realization that I will only be a part-time employee came the realization that I will no longer have insurance. I don't know if I've mentioned it in a previous post, but I have medical conditions for which I take medications. They're pretty much affordable with insurance. Without insurance, I don't know. I can't even really afford the $35 and $50 copays to see my doctors right now. But God will provide. I guess I'll be seeking medical care at the free clinic with the others in my area who have no insurance, can't afford insurance, and can't afford to see a regular doctor. But I know God is in control. I'm sure some things in my life needed to change. I guess this is a good way for me to change them.

Please don't read this and think that I'm just sitting here waiting for God to do something and make everything okay. I know that isn't how He works. As I recently read somewhere, God isn't some magician that just makes what we need appear. He works in many ways. I'm praying about finding a weekend job. I don't really want to work on weekends, but if I need to for a few months, I will. I'm still praying about my husband finding a job. He's been looking for so long, we're both becoming frustrated with it.

This will be a super busy semester. I'll give updates as I can. And if you're reading this, please keep both my husband and me in your prayers.

Why do we run?

You've seen my picture. You've probably surmised I am not a runner. Not physically, anyway. As the title and description of my blog told you, though, I have spiritually run for years. And believe me, that's nothing to brag about.

A friend on Facebook is a youth minister. He asked his friends to complete the sentence "I stopped running from God when...." When I started typing my answer in the comments, Matthew 11:28-30 came to mind. Can't remember exactly what those verses say? Well, I couldn't remember the exact reference, but I know how to look it up. This is a quote from Jesus: "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (HCSB)

As I shared in my own Facebook status update, I have been a Christian since age 15 and stopped running when I was 42. I took some breaks during those 27 years, but, being completely honest, I ran, in some way, for the majority of them. I have read this passage from Matthew many, many times in various versions from King James to Contemporary English. Knowing that Jesus is offering me rest, why would I run? Why would any of us run?

I guess these verses never really spoke to me until now. Now I need to figure out why I ran for so long. I believe that figuring out the reason we did something is a big step in keeping ourselves from repeating the same mistakes. I guess I have some thinking to do.

If you haven't watched it, keep scrolling and watch the video of Tenth Avenue North's song "By Your Side".

Bummer

Well, I had my interview Monday morning. As I parked, I saw a man walk out, but didn't really pay much attention to him. I realized through my peripheral vision that he got into the SUV that I had parked beside. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk toward the door when I heard my name. I turned to realize that the man in the SUV was a friend of my sister's. He has been a certified teacher for a few years. He had just interviewed for the same position for which I was going to interview. We wished each other luck and I headed for the building.

The interview was pretty informal. No real questions; the superintendent just asked me to tell them about myself. I think it went pretty well. The only possible problem the superintendent seemed to have was that I'm in an alternative certification program and don't yet have a certification. And inservice starts Thursday. With the interview over, all that was left was to wait for a call yesterday or today. As you may have already guessed, a call never came. I haven't checked with J yet to see if he got it, but I know I'm not the newest addition to Leary ISD.

I realized yesterday that I am not going to have an internship this year. I really started to get concerned about my student teaching in the spring semester. You don't get paid for student teaching. You do, however, get paid to work as an aide. According to the alternative cert program, you can work as an aide in your certification area/grade level and qualify to student teach. In essence, if I get a job as an aide in a 4th-8th grade classroom, I could do my student teaching in the spring and still get a paycheck. So I decided yesterday to start looking for aide positions in 4th-8th grade. I guess I should've been applying for those all along, too. I only found a few positions still posted. I found out yesterday that one was basically already closed; they won't be removing the posting until the person is officially hired at the school board meeting Thursday night. With very little in Texas, I decided to check Arkansas. I only found one posting for a district about half an hour from home. I emailed about it this morning, only to be informed this afternoon that it had already been filled. There are still two middle school aide positions posted. I may apply for them tonight; I may wait until Friday to see if the postings are removed after the board meeting tomorrow night.

Now I'm disappointed, frustrated, and bummed out. I know that God is in control of the entire situation. There is a reason why there are 18 people enrolled in the internship class and I am not one of them. There is a reason I am still at my current job. When I realized that so many other students obviously found teaching positions, I started to question myself. What's wrong with me? Why did so many other people get a job and I didn't? Ultimately, I know that it isn't that I'm defective. God apparently still has something for me to do where I am. He isn't ready for me to move on to a school yet. But I'm not giving up. He may still have an aide position for me later in the school year. Even if He doesn't and I have to quit my job to do my student teaching, I have to trust God. His plan is perfect. I am definitely not.

Hopeful

While I was getting ready for work this morning, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I let it go to voice mail. While Paul was driving me to work, I checked my message. It was the principal of the smaller school district I mentioned in yesterday's post. She said she was scheduling interviews for Monday. I was a little early to work, so I had plenty of time before seeing my first client. I called her as soon as I got my coffee started. My interview is at 10:00 Monday morning. I'll see my client, then leave for my interview. I'm really pretty excited about it.

But I'm still praying. Scheduling an interview doesn't mean I'll get the job. Honestly, I hope I get it. It would only be about half an hour from my house. I think such a small district would give me a great start to my career in education. But that doesn't mean it's God's plan. I only really want the job that God wants me to have. If this is it, great! If not, He will help me overcome my disappointment and guide me to the right job at the right time.

Like most schools in the area, teachers start work for the school year Thursday, 8/14/14. Since my interview is Monday, I'm sure they will be making a decision shortly thereafter. It amazes me that I may interview for a job and start work the same week. The only times that has happened, I already had the job when I applied.

If you're reading this post before my interview, please say a prayer for me. I'll let ya know what happens next week.

It's almost time.

I am both excited and disappointed that it's almost time for school to start.

Today made it official for me. I got the email with my financial aid award notification. It will soon be time to get the book voucher to buy my books for this semester. Maybe it's because I'm a nerd, but I actually enjoy going to the bookstore to get my books for the new semester. I can't explain the reason, but it makes me happy.

The disappointing part of back to school time this year is that I don't have a teaching job yet. I do still have a few chances. I applied for three positions at a district about an hour away from my house. It's definitely not the farthest I've driven for work. I drove about an hour and a half for over a year. The great part of it would be that I would get a raise of over $5,000 a year. I could definitely do it. And one of the positions is history! I also found another position today (social studies/history) that's closer to home at a much smaller district. I'm sure I wouldn't be getting a raise at that district, but it would be much easier on our car.

I haven't given up hope. God is in control. He has a plan for me. I remind myself, multiple times daily, that I only want the job He wants me to have. I am careful to pray for His will in both my and Paul's job searches. We both know that asking for specific jobs may get us employed, but if it isn't the job that God wants, we'll be miserable. I've been there before. I am trying to pray carefully. And I'm trying not to be too disappointed when I don't get a job I want. When it comes down to it, all I really want is what God wants for me.

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.