Praying for Guidance

Even though school started Monday in Texas, I've been checking the job postings every day. I have applications in for aide positions at three or four schools. (I'm pretty sure it's four, but it could only be three.) Today, I got an email from one of the districts, letting me know that I've been selected as a candidate for the position. I was pretty excited when I started reading the email. Then I got to the part where it listed the approximate pay. Almost $20,000 a year less than I currently make. I knew it would be a big cut in pay, but I wasn't expecting it to be THAT much. I had already realized I'll probably need a second job if I take an aide position. I told Paul and my mom that when I started applying for them. I have to admit, my heart sank when I read those numbers. I'm not sure I can work two full-time jobs and take classes. And I'm almost positive I won't make enough at a part-time job. But a huge pay cut is better than not getting paid at all for my student teaching semester. I can already feel myself starting to stress over this situation. That's where prayer comes in.

I know God already has the answer. He already knows exactly how this entire school year will work out for me. And I know He isn't about to unveil His entire plan to me in the next few days. I have until 3:00 Wednesday to respond to request an interview. As I told Paul, going to the interview doesn't mean I'll be offered a job right then. In fact, I'm reasonably certain that won't happen. And if they do offer me the position, I don't have to accept it. That's why I'm praying for God's guidance. Should I accept the interview? Each interview I have gives me that much more interview experience. Should I start looking for a second job, just in case they do offer me the job? Will the other districts even contact me for an interview? One, way closer to my house, just closed the posting two days ago. Have they even started weeding through the applicants? I have so many questions. So many thoughts are running through my mind. And most of them are probably moot. God's got this. Obviously, I don't. I need to keep praying. I need to keep asking for wisdom and guidance in making these decisions. I need to wait. And listen. And trust God.

If you're reading this, please pray for me.

Bummer

Well, I had my interview Monday morning. As I parked, I saw a man walk out, but didn't really pay much attention to him. I realized through my peripheral vision that he got into the SUV that I had parked beside. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk toward the door when I heard my name. I turned to realize that the man in the SUV was a friend of my sister's. He has been a certified teacher for a few years. He had just interviewed for the same position for which I was going to interview. We wished each other luck and I headed for the building.

The interview was pretty informal. No real questions; the superintendent just asked me to tell them about myself. I think it went pretty well. The only possible problem the superintendent seemed to have was that I'm in an alternative certification program and don't yet have a certification. And inservice starts Thursday. With the interview over, all that was left was to wait for a call yesterday or today. As you may have already guessed, a call never came. I haven't checked with J yet to see if he got it, but I know I'm not the newest addition to Leary ISD.

I realized yesterday that I am not going to have an internship this year. I really started to get concerned about my student teaching in the spring semester. You don't get paid for student teaching. You do, however, get paid to work as an aide. According to the alternative cert program, you can work as an aide in your certification area/grade level and qualify to student teach. In essence, if I get a job as an aide in a 4th-8th grade classroom, I could do my student teaching in the spring and still get a paycheck. So I decided yesterday to start looking for aide positions in 4th-8th grade. I guess I should've been applying for those all along, too. I only found a few positions still posted. I found out yesterday that one was basically already closed; they won't be removing the posting until the person is officially hired at the school board meeting Thursday night. With very little in Texas, I decided to check Arkansas. I only found one posting for a district about half an hour from home. I emailed about it this morning, only to be informed this afternoon that it had already been filled. There are still two middle school aide positions posted. I may apply for them tonight; I may wait until Friday to see if the postings are removed after the board meeting tomorrow night.

Now I'm disappointed, frustrated, and bummed out. I know that God is in control of the entire situation. There is a reason why there are 18 people enrolled in the internship class and I am not one of them. There is a reason I am still at my current job. When I realized that so many other students obviously found teaching positions, I started to question myself. What's wrong with me? Why did so many other people get a job and I didn't? Ultimately, I know that it isn't that I'm defective. God apparently still has something for me to do where I am. He isn't ready for me to move on to a school yet. But I'm not giving up. He may still have an aide position for me later in the school year. Even if He doesn't and I have to quit my job to do my student teaching, I have to trust God. His plan is perfect. I am definitely not.

Hopeful

While I was getting ready for work this morning, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I let it go to voice mail. While Paul was driving me to work, I checked my message. It was the principal of the smaller school district I mentioned in yesterday's post. She said she was scheduling interviews for Monday. I was a little early to work, so I had plenty of time before seeing my first client. I called her as soon as I got my coffee started. My interview is at 10:00 Monday morning. I'll see my client, then leave for my interview. I'm really pretty excited about it.

But I'm still praying. Scheduling an interview doesn't mean I'll get the job. Honestly, I hope I get it. It would only be about half an hour from my house. I think such a small district would give me a great start to my career in education. But that doesn't mean it's God's plan. I only really want the job that God wants me to have. If this is it, great! If not, He will help me overcome my disappointment and guide me to the right job at the right time.

Like most schools in the area, teachers start work for the school year Thursday, 8/14/14. Since my interview is Monday, I'm sure they will be making a decision shortly thereafter. It amazes me that I may interview for a job and start work the same week. The only times that has happened, I already had the job when I applied.

If you're reading this post before my interview, please say a prayer for me. I'll let ya know what happens next week.

It's almost time.

I am both excited and disappointed that it's almost time for school to start.

Today made it official for me. I got the email with my financial aid award notification. It will soon be time to get the book voucher to buy my books for this semester. Maybe it's because I'm a nerd, but I actually enjoy going to the bookstore to get my books for the new semester. I can't explain the reason, but it makes me happy.

The disappointing part of back to school time this year is that I don't have a teaching job yet. I do still have a few chances. I applied for three positions at a district about an hour away from my house. It's definitely not the farthest I've driven for work. I drove about an hour and a half for over a year. The great part of it would be that I would get a raise of over $5,000 a year. I could definitely do it. And one of the positions is history! I also found another position today (social studies/history) that's closer to home at a much smaller district. I'm sure I wouldn't be getting a raise at that district, but it would be much easier on our car.

I haven't given up hope. God is in control. He has a plan for me. I remind myself, multiple times daily, that I only want the job He wants me to have. I am careful to pray for His will in both my and Paul's job searches. We both know that asking for specific jobs may get us employed, but if it isn't the job that God wants, we'll be miserable. I've been there before. I am trying to pray carefully. And I'm trying not to be too disappointed when I don't get a job I want. When it comes down to it, all I really want is what God wants for me.

I admit it . . .

I am officially disappointed. No job yet. Things seemed to be going so well at the end of June, but dried up in July. As of this morning, there is only one job available for which I have applied. And I considered it a long-shot when I applied for it. I know God is in control. If He wanted me to have one of those jobs, I'm positive I would have already signed a contract with one of those districts. Maybe there's a position that hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I'll get this long-shot position. Only God knows. And I have to trust Him. His plan is perfect. I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. I am impatient, self-centered, and often think I know best. I am definitely glad that God sees the whole picture and works everything for the good of His children.

While reading about Joseph in the book of Genesis the other night, I was reminded that, even when we think it's the end of the world, God has a reason for our suffering. "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB Not that I am comparing not getting a teaching position yet with Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers. It made me remember that, even in the small things, God has a plan. Maybe the job He has planned for me hasn't opened or hasn't been posted yet. Maybe I have a client He wants me to finish working with. I have no idea. I know there is no evil plan that is keeping me from getting what I want. It just isn't my time yet. I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it at this moment. It's okay to be disappointed once in a while. As long as I don't let it sidetrack me from doing God's will.